Dear Otus,
Every year I assign my senior social studies class to write a paper on your annual column on Presidents' Day, its cultural implications and how the public can be influenced by market forces. It has made for many lively discussions.
Disclaimer: Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of 👉 humorous fabrication 👈 appears every Saturday.
However, in light of President Trump's actions this week, I'm confused as to what to tell them. Will you repeat your column this year and how will you deal with the president's executive order?
-- Ryan Lee,
Springdale
Dear Ryan,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and it is an additional pleasure to congratulate you on your dedication and service to public education, the foundation of American society.
Indeed, I have been at the forefront of the nationwide crusade to counter the nefarious marketing forces behind so-called "Presidents' Day" since 1997, when I first ran the expose that revealed that the plot began with President Richard Nixon in 1971 and was exacerbated by President Bill Clinton.
Here are the facts, not the "alternative facts."
This is the law of the land: The third Monday in February is now and has always been "George Washington's Birthday." Not "Presidents' Day." Not "President's Day." Not Presidents Day nor "Washington/Lincoln Day."
Washington's birthday has been a federal holiday, as implemented by an Act of Congress, since 1879. Initially it was on his actual birthday (Feb. 22), but was shifted to the third Monday in February by the Uniform Monday Holiday Act in 1968.
(We won't confuse matters by bringing up the 1752 switch from the Julian to the Gregorian calendar that moved Washington's birthday from Feb. 11 to Feb. 22.)
Attempts to create a "Presidents Day" to honor all presidents failed in 1951 and 1968.
We can trace the current bastardization of the holiday directly back to Nixon in his now-infamous Presidents' Day Proclamation of 1971 -- a blatant grab for inclusion and respectability that started Nixon down the slippery slope that eventually led to his resignation Aug. 9, 1974.
"My fellow Americans," Nixon wrote, "it is with great pride that Pat, Tricia, Julie and I wish you the happiest of Presidents' Days, the first such three-day holiday set aside to honor all presidents, including myself. Pat and I plan to celebrate at one of the many Presidents' Day sales, purchasing for her a good Republican cloth coat."
Note the plural possessive for the holiday. It wasn't long before calendars, print and television advertising and a duped public began referring to Washington's birthday as Presidents' Day.
Nixon's egregious offense was his attempt to usurp Washington's birthday into an affirmation of his presidential legacy. Critics contend that was also Clinton's disingenuous intention when he issued his Presidents' Day Proclamation in 2000.
"I am pleased to join all Americans in observing Presidents' Day," Clinton wrote. "Today we salute the leadership and achievements of all those who have held America's highest elected office."
Washington's birthday has since increasingly morphed into the hybrid abomination labeled Presidents' Day. There are Presidents' Day mattress sales and Presidents' Day specials at the car lot.
Vast indolent segments of American society, manipulated by the advertising industry and too apathetic to think for themselves, continue to refer to the holiday as the generic and odiously reprehensible "Presidents' Day" despite an act of Congress that keeps the original name that honors our first president.
President Trump, in a move intended to boost his brand and curry favor with his adoring base, has entered the fray.
In an Oval Office ceremony Monday, Trump issued his 67th Executive Order since taking office, officially changing the name of the holiday from Washington's Birthday to Presidents' Day.
He later tweeted about it: "Presidents' Day on my desk calendar. Good enough for me and America. WIN-WIN."
The American Civil Liberties Union immediately filed suit in the 9th Circuit Court of Appeals to block the measure, which would include Trump in all future Presidents' Day celebrations.
Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that Monday is Vice Presidents' Day and there will be no garbage pickup.
Disclaimer
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Z humorous fabrication X
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HomeStyle on 02/18/2017