Going out for lunch -- at school

NWA Democrat-Gazette/ANTHONY REYES @NWATONYR John Bennet hugs his son Jude Bennet, 6, Friday, Feb. 3, 2017 after they ate lunch together at Willowbrook Elementary School in Bentonville. Bennet said he or his wife try to come and eat lunch with Jude a couple of times a month. More parents have taken the time to occasionally eat lunch with their children at school.
NWA Democrat-Gazette/ANTHONY REYES @NWATONYR John Bennet hugs his son Jude Bennet, 6, Friday, Feb. 3, 2017 after they ate lunch together at Willowbrook Elementary School in Bentonville. Bennet said he or his wife try to come and eat lunch with Jude a couple of times a month. More parents have taken the time to occasionally eat lunch with their children at school.

Bentonville's Willowbrook Elementary School bustles with more than 900 students in kindergarten through fourth grade.

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NWA Democrat-Gazette/ANTHONY REYES @NWATONYR Gretchen Sill tries to repair her daughter's, Elia Rose Sill, 6, lanyard Friday, Feb. 3, 2017 after having lunch with her at Willowbrook Elementary School in Bentonville. More parents have taken the time to occasionally eat lunch with their children at school.

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NWA Democrat-Gazette/ANTHONY REYES @NWATONYR Priya Ram wipes Shreya Ram's, 5, mouth Friday, Feb. 3, 2017 while eating lunch at Willowbrook Elementary School in Bentonville. More parents have taken the time to occasionally eat lunch with their children at school.

The school's lunch periods from 10:30 a.m. to 1 p.m. attract even more people. Between 40 and 45 parents join their children for lunch on a typical day, according to Principal Cindy Dewey.

Time to eat

U.S. students typically get about 30 minutes for lunch at school, with a median of 25 minutes reported for elementary schools and 30 minutes for middle and high schools, according to a 2016 survey by the School Nutrition Association. The survey included responses from nearly 1,000 school districts nationwide. This data does not specify the amount of time students have to eat their meals, as lunch periods must also include travel time from the classroom to the cafeteria and time in line to get a meal.

Source: School Nutrition Association

Dewey said parents never came to school when she was a kid except for special events like a concert or for conferences with teachers. These days, it's common to see parents eating with their kids, particularly at elementary schools.

"Parents coming for lunch can be a positive thing for them and the child," Dewey wrote in an email. "We encourage parents not to come every day so their child can have that social time with their classmates. The majority of our parents agree and honor that request."

Julie Anderson has five children in the Bentonville School District, including two at Willowbrook. She and her husband showed up at the school Feb. 3 to eat and spend time with their kids -- kindergartener Mia, 5, and second-grader Mark, 8.

Anderson has lunch at school once every couple of months or so, usually as a surprise for her children. Mia's excitement at seeing her in the hall almost caused Anderson to tear up, she said.

"She doesn't typically come home from school excited to see me, because it's just your daily routine. But this is something out of the ordinary," Anderson said.

The time she spends with her kids during their school lunch is different from time spent with them at home, she said.

"At home there's always the pressure of, I should be cleaning or cooking or doing something," she said. "Here they have my undivided attention. They tend to open up and talk more because they're so excited I'm here and none of their siblings are around. They have my attention versus trying to talk over their older siblings."

Once they reach middle school, however, her kids generally stop getting excited about seeing her for lunch. At that point, they're mainly interested in the food she can bring them from a restaurant.

"My sixth-grader wants the food. He doesn't want me there," she said.

Middle schools do see parents for lunch, too -- not as many as the elementaries do. Jason Brunner, interim principal at Bentonville's Old High Middle School, estimated between three and 10 parents come over each day for lunch.

"It's a good opportunity to build relationships with our parents. It's not a burden to our building at all," Brunner said.

Jackie Carter said he learns more about his son Kenny's day at school when he joins him for lunch, which he does every Friday. Kenny, 6, is in kindergarten at Willowbrook.

"Mainly I just find out more about his day, because normally by the time he gets home, after I get off work, when I ask him about his day, he gives me like one or two words, whereas it's more fresh on his mind right now," Carter said while sitting with his son in the cafeteria.

Kenny, when asked what he thought about his father joining him for lunch, enthusiastically hugged Carter's side.

"Fun!" Kenny said. "Wherever Daddy goes, I go."

Fridays are particularly big days for parents coming for lunch at Butterfield Trail Elementary School in Fayetteville, though Principal Joey Folsom said she isn't sure why.

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Sometimes they bring food from a restaurant, sometimes they bring food from home. Sometimes they eat whatever the cafeteria is serving, Folsom said.

Butterfield Trail, like other schools, has a special area in the cafeteria reserved for visitors. Students whose parents come to eat with them are allowed to bring one friend with them to the table.

"I think the students enjoy having their parents at school," Folsom said. "Of course, if parents are bringing them a special meal, that's special too. It just offers a little different atmosphere, especially if they go out into the courtyard to eat. So the kids think it's special."

While many schools allow parents to come for lunch, the practice is not universal.

The Manheim Township School District in Lancaster, Pa., for example, disallowed it starting in 2013. A school board policy states the rule exists "for the safety of our students," though the policy provides for an exception in cases when a school wants to invite parents for a celebration.

A Tampa, Fla., man wrote a column for the Tampa Bay Times last year complaining about a policy at his child's public school that prohibits parents from dining with their kids.

Stacey Ferguson, principal of Springdale's Turnbow Elementary School, said she thinks any time a parent is willing to come to school and communicate with their child, it's a positive thing.

"Sometimes they work different shifts, and (lunch) is their only time of day to see their child," Ferguson said.

Reagan Elementary School in Rogers has anywhere from five to 15 parents come for lunch each day, said Matthew Howard, assistant principal.

"We do have tables set aside for parents to eat lunch with students," Howard said. "We do encourage it. It really builds up a sense of family and community. It's always been a part of what we try to foster and celebrate as a part of family connections."

NW News on 02/12/2017

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