A is for Arkansas, that dear old state of ours, where the politicians play all day and the land is filled with flowers.
B is for Bravery, which is needed to stand up against knavery.
C is for Crime, and this seems to be its time.
D is for Delta and Development, which need to go together like a horse and its tether.
E is for Effort, which is a safe bet if a state is to be a success.
F is for Fear, the only thing standing in the way of a state at bay.
G is for the Good and Great, which we must never separate.
H is for Hope, the thing with feathers that never settles.
I is for Intelligence, which should not be confused with belligerence.
J is for Jealousy, an unworthy emotion that always causes a commotion.
K is for Knowledge, even if you never get to college.
L is for Love, which conquers all no matter how tall.
M is for Money, which not only talks but shouts, and never ever pouts.
N is for Normalcy, which Warren G. Harding celebrated but never calibrated.
O is for Open, like all doors in this land of opportunity and not a fit subject for contumely.
P is for Pride, which goeth before a fall however steep the leap.
Q is for Questionable, like our president's income-tax forms no matter how many times he claims they represent the norms.
R is for Race, the unmentionable subject in polite society that invites notoriety.
S is for Sight, which needs to be kept sharp when politicians claim to be just angels playing on their harp.
T is for Taxes, the price of both civilization and its deterioration.
U is for the United States of America, long may it thrive and never take a dive.
V is for Values, Victory and Virtue, none of which should we ever eschew.
W is for Bishop Woosley, the director of the Arkansas Lottery, whose statements almost always makes some of us woozy.
X is for X-Ray Vision, which no one needs to in order to see through some of our politicians' contrition.
Y is for Youth, who at times can be mighty uncouth.
Z is for Zebra, a species admired in Pine Bluff when it isn't proving just one big bluff.
And this concludes our tome with a great big groan.
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Paul Greenberg is the Pulitzer Prize-winning editorial writer and columnist for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette.