Revealing 'Hidden Medicine'

Lakota flutist shares journey to personal peace in new album

John Two-Hawks shares his painful childhood and his victory over it in his new album, “Hidden Medicine.”
John Two-Hawks shares his painful childhood and his victory over it in his new album, “Hidden Medicine.”

John Two-Hawks takes his music seriously.

But when he's not working, the Lakota flutist has a constant smile and a persistently upbeat personality.

FAQ

‘Hidden Medicine’

Release Concert

WHEN — Birthday party at 7 p.m. Sept. 30; concert at 8 p.m.

WHERE — Eureka Springs City Auditorium

COST — $15-$20

INFO — johntwohawks.com

That's why "Hidden Medicine," his latest -- and 26th -- album brings with it startling and painful revelations.

"Two things about this album are firsts," he says. "It's the first time musically that I am telling the story of my childhood -- the story of my journey, having endured, survived and become victorious over having been abused as a child in every way a child can be abused.

"The broader message of the music is that when we experience hurt -- the kind of hurt that is inflicted on you through no fault of your own -- it wounds us deeply. We have to figure out first how to survive, and then after we manage to do that, the next step in the process is to heal.

"The final step is the step where you claim ownership of that hurt and you claim victory over it," he explains. "You own it then, and you can do with it what you want. You can cast it to the wind or keep some of it and use it as a gift -- and that becomes your hidden medicine."

Music was the medicine that helped Two-Hawks survive a childhood riddled with nightmares, he says. His parents were divorced when he was about 6, and his teenage mother dragged him -- and his younger siblings as they came along -- from house to house without ever giving them a home.

"She made terrible choices in men, and I witnessed some terrible things during that period of time," Two-Hawks says, speaking quietly. "One of her husbands turned out to be an abuser; he did terrible things to her, and I witnessed terrible things as a 7- or 8-year-boy. He took a baseball bat and beat a kitten to death right in front of me."

Weekends with his father weren't any better.

"His girlfriend abused the daylights out of me when we were there," he says, and later, moving in with his father and a new wife led to "mental, physical, psychological and sexual" abuse.

"And that's what I was living with as a child," he says. "It didn't stop until I was 18 and able to get out of there. What carried me through was the hope that it wasn't forever. That was my hidden medicine. I started writing songs when I was 9 years old, when we moved in with [his stepmother]. It was my way to find the light in the darkness. That music carried me. It helped me to have hope."

Tw0-Hawks says in one way, he and his brother and sisters were lucky.

"A lot of people who suffer through those kind of hurts become dependent on drugs or drinking," he says. "I never did it -- never touched a cigarette, never did a single drug, never resorted to drinking. Neither I nor any of my siblings ever became addicted. That definitely for me was not an answer. I saw what it had done to my father; I saw what it had done to my mother; and it scared me. It scared me as much as the abuse; why would I abuse myself? I needed to stay alert to best survive the situation.

"I realize there are reasons to lean on those things, people want to escape somehow, but for me the escape was the music."

By finally telling his story in this album, Two-Hawks says, "my deep heartfelt hope is that other people will find their own stories in it and find whatever healing remains but more importantly find their victory -- find their hidden medicine, that power they have inside to claim victory over the things that hurt them, to rise up and be transformed like the firebird, to be a new being of light and power and strength and victory. I've never shared this story. I want to share it now, because I know a lot of people have been hurt through no fault of their own. And I know the power of the hidden medicine that lies within.

"Ironically, [my childhood] shaped who I am today. I'm a happy person today. There's not a morning that I don't wake up and feel free. That's the part I'm talking about when I say you have to become the victor, own it and not let it own you."

NAN What's Up on 09/23/2016

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