So, it's that time of year again. Time for me to point out there are actual chemicals in turkey that make you fall asleep, and for the members of my immediate family who hear this every year to wish they already were.
It's also that time of year when those of us who write columns get to quit boring you with whatever is making us mad at the moment and bore you with ... whatever we're thankful for. Hey, it's tradition, and I'm all about that.
So, in a year when a lot of us are going to have to work exceptionally hard to look on the bright side, I can honestly say:
• At the moment you're reading this, I may very well be riding my bicycle in near darkness or drinking a very critical cup of coffee on my way to work. Whatever the case, unless it involves me undergoing emergency surgery, I'm going to be overwhelmingly happy I'm not in a store somewhere, arm-wrestling an octogenarian for a TV I don't need. For that I am thankful. And I consider it an early Christmas present to me.
• I've very thankful a group of my ancestors was less than successful in convincing authorities they should be allowed to stay in Scotland and another group of my ancestors was less than successful in persuading them, and lots more like them, that this definitely wasn't their fallback country. Of such was this nation made. Probably worth our while to remember that during these "interesting" times when immigrants in all their incarnations are increasingly being viewed the same way that latter group of my forebears viewed the former.
• I'm thankful the election is over. Or, maybe I'm not. Only time will tell.
• Please allow me this personal indulgence, but I'm thankful there are people like Carlton and Becky Efurd and the rest of the cross country coaches at Rogers High School who put up with a kind of pudgy kid with no eye-hand coordination and little obvious ability as a runner. And I'm thankful they were willing to be there in the early mornings and late afternoons with him and rest of his teammates until they all turned into actual competitors. And I'm thankful the Lovely Mrs. Smith and I were there to see that pay off in the form of a state championship. The Efurds will get to remember a lot of great runners from their coaching careers. One not-so-great-but-incredibly-hard-working runner and his parents will never forget them.
• I'm thankful for old family recipes. Heck, I'm thankful for new family recipes. And I'm thankful I know my place in all this -- eat too much, pass out on the sofa, clean up later.
• I'm thankful that in about seven weeks, 2016 will be done. I mean, can this year get over any faster? Start with one of the ugliest, most divisive presidential campaigns since they tended to settle these things with duels. Add in some horrible weather. Throw in a double handful of iconic artists who passed away, taking large chunks of our collective childhoods with them. Top with a pinch of Texas A&M/Alabama/Auburn/LSU. Stir. Dump in the trash and hide under the bed until 2017. I know I'm tempting fate here, but unless the next year involves lots and lots of zombies, it can't be much worse than this one.
• I'm thankful the Cubs won. Not because I like the Cubs (Cardinals fan here). I just want them to quit whining about it.
• I'm thankful my wife is still healthy enough to roll her eyes at the dumb stuff I say and do, the kids are close enough to come home regularly to fight with each other and my granddaughter is able to run me and the dog ragged chasing her around the back yard. There are lots of people who give quite a bit to have these gentle annoyances in their lives and those of us who do need to remember that, and, well, give thanks for it.
• And I'm thankful the editors and the readers of this paper put up with my weekly ramblings and confessions. I need to remember that when I'm staring at a blank screen, suddenly understanding why typing "All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy" endlessly makes perfect sense, thank you. You've allowed me to do something I've always wanted to do and for that I am incredibly grateful.
And thankful.
Commentary on 11/25/2016