Years ago, obituaries in the newspaper were mostly published for free, but in recent years, space in costly newsprint became premium real estate and the once-abundant revenue newspapers collected from its business operations would not sustain the no-charge approach.
Much has changed in the newspaper business in recent years. Among those changes, there's no such thing as a free obituary in many newspapers, including this one. In my years as editor of the Northwest Arkansas Times, I came to appreciate the importance of obituaries not just to the families of those whose loved ones had passed on, but to the community and to the preservation of history. I resisted the push to charge for obituaries.
Boy, was I wrong.
I know. Free is better, right? Free is more compassionate, isn't it?
I've come to believe just the opposite.
Back when newspapers gave away space for obituaries, there necessarily had to be limits. While it was a free service to families and funeral homes, it cost the newspaper money, so there had to be some boundaries. Policies attempted to treat everyone the same within the free obituaries. That led to accurate, just-the-facts styles of obituaries that everyone got used to. But we didn't know what we were missing.
Nowadays, obituaries cost. The longer the obituary, the higher the cost. If one is only concerned with money, that's a bad thing. But by purchasing the space in newspapers, families have regained control over how they want to memorialize their loved ones. And as a reader of obituaries, I argue the process has made these printed tributes to the deceased far more interesting and more relevant to how they lived their lives. In short, creating the mechanism in which families can rightly lay claim to whatever words and phrases they want to use in remembering a family member made these remembrances more real.
I mean no disrespect whatsoever by saying the obituaries today are more fun to read. By that, I don't mean they bring levity; rather, they bring joy, by giving the reader a seriously considered glimpse into lives well lived, or lives cut short, or lives made difficult by the effects of Alzheimer's Disease or other challenges.
To the point: Families are doing far better in communicating a real sense of who they've lost than any newspaper formula of the past ever achieved.
When the obituaries were free, they tended to be short and to the point. By opening up the pages to whatever families are willing or able to pay for, it gives them freedom to detail lives. They get to explain why someone moved to Northwest Arkansas. They explore their own reactions to the death sometimes. They reveal the emotional toll disease took in the final days, months or even years.
And, often, they feature humor in the midst of a family's mourning.
"[He] was a truly good man with a heart as big as his eyebrows," the family wrote of Donald Sanford Ryan, a Little Rock lawyer who passed away in early January. They went on: "Although he had a great sense of humor, he did not find lawyer jokes the least bit funny."
The family of Lois Marie "Granny" Blackburn of Rogers, in the March 2 edition, described her with incredible detail that made me wish I had known this lady: "She was a poodle trainer, fish catcher, book reader, fierce Bridge player, light-footed dancer, straight talker, loyal friend and a beautiful person."
Richard D. "Dick" Hutcherson of Bella Vista, who died at 83 in late February, was an avid golfer, so why not remember that in his obituary? ""On Sept. 28, 2007," his obituary read, "Dick got his one and only hole-in-one on Hole #10 at Kingswood Golf Course, a par 3, 125 yards with a 9 iron."
Naturally, there are plenty of references to the world to come as families embrace the hope derived from their faith. The family of Gary Field Simpson of Winslow, who died in February, made a prediction: "He was a prodigious talker, and God will not lack for conversation," his obituary said.
Obituaries, in the hands of family members, have become as unique as the individuals they are about. Families, in the midst of their mourning, are paying great honor to their relatives by giving people who knew them and ones who didn't a glimpse into who they were and what has been lost in their passing.
The paid obituaries are far more, well, human.
Commentary on 03/07/2016