The unspeakable tragedy at the Pulse club in Orlando quickly returned to our public discourse a phrase that was very popular a year ago in the wake of the marriage equality ruling by the Supreme Court -- love wins. "Love wins" is a phrase I've said or typed countless times. For me, it's become shorthand for an optimistic view of the future in which understanding, grace and patience will be much more common than arguments, judgment and competition.
But like many other big ideas, the word "love" can be difficult to define. When we say love, what exactly are we talking about? Is love a feeling or an action? Is love about our intentions or our accomplishments? Is love really possible when we don't like someone or when they won't love us back?
With these kinds of questions rolling around in my head, I decided to come up with a working definition of love. Here's what I came up with: Love is life-giving movement toward others in the world.
I like the double meaning of the phrase "life giving." Love calls us to be sacrificial of ourselves, but to do so in a way that is generative for others. Love is also movement. It has to compel us to do or think or speak differently toward the people we encounter in the world.
As a Christian, the idea of love for me is bound up in the example and life of Jesus.
In 1 John 3:16 we read, "This is how we know what love is: Jesus Christ laid down his life for us." This is not the first time John uses the phrase "laid down." He also uses it in his gospel when he tells the story of Jesus taking off his robe, wrapping a towel around himself and washing his disciples' feet. John said that Jesus "laid down" or "set aside" his garment, so he could love and serve his disciples.
Jesus was willing to set aside the things that were a barrier to his serving others. That's life-giving movement. That's love.
The apostle Paul echoes this idea in Philippians 2, when he describes how the Son of God did not hold tightly to being recognized as equal with God. Instead, he was willing to be like an obedient servant -- even one who died -- so his redemptive purposes could be accomplished.
And then I think of how tightly many of us hold on to things, and how those things become barriers to our ability to love and serve others.
How often do my political beliefs become a barrier to love? This election season has already been more divisive than any I can remember, and I think that's only going to continue. Sometimes, it's difficult to think the best of people whose social media posts drive me crazy. I can't imagine love is found in name-calling and endless arguments. And so, I've got to be willing to set aside my political beliefs, so I can love people with understanding, grace and patience.
How often do my theological beliefs become a barrier to love? The type of Christianity I grew up in taught us to avoid and shun people whose beliefs were not as orthodox as ours. I've spent most of my adult life trying to unlearn this approach. What I've discovered is, that when I set aside my personal theological beliefs so that I can be in a closer relationship with someone who sees the world differently than me, I am blessed with new and wonderful opportunities to learn and grow.
How often does my personality become a barrier to love? I jokingly refer to myself as an anti-social extrovert. I love connecting with people, but I also get nervous about what people think of me. Sometimes it sends me into a shell, and as a result, sometimes people think I don't like them. It would be easy for me to say, "Well, this is just who I am. If they don't get me, it's their own fault." Love compels me, however, to move beyond myself and my comfort zone to meaningfully connect with people.
Recently, I had the chance to put all of this into practice.
I received a phone call from a family in need of some very short-term financial help. It was a need my church community could easily and happily meet. However, during the course of the conversation, the person asking for help revealed a strongly held belief that was in direct contradiction with one of the distinctives of our church and something I believe in strongly.
As he talked, I could feel a negative reaction rising within me. I wanted to argue. I wanted to correct him. I wanted to say, "Do you know what kind of church you called?" But I was able to resist that urge and take the opportunity to actually practice what I preach.
Do I think he was wrong? Yes. Do I think I am right? Yes. Should that keep me from expressing the love of Jesus by serving him in a real, tangible way? Absolutely not. Love wins.
NAN Religion on 06/25/2016