Q. I've always thought that mother and daughter matching combos were cute for a minute, but then I question it. I wonder about how much pressure that implies and whether they ever dress differently. So, then I went out and bought a matching combo for my husband and son. Do you think I should just have them wear them separately?
A. To be a bit of a psychologist, I would say if it bothers you, it's bad; if it doesn't, it's fine.
The look can be very cute ... in the right setting and if your son is young enough. As an example, I cannot imagine any situation where a matching dressed-up look would be right for a father and son. But in casual settings such as matching Hawaiian print shirts at a barbecue or matched swim shorts at the beach, it might not only look good, but be fun as well.
A big part of why these could work is that they're part of summer dressing. For some reason, on the sliding scale of formal-to-casual wear for men, the various aspects of summer dressing are almost always less dressy than fall/winter clothes. Now that we have moved entirely into the season, I think it might be beneficial for me to further explain what summer dressing means.
Colors: In summer, colors are usually lighter and brighter than the darker, more serious colors of winter. The same pastels and bold shades that seem right in summer can come across as flamboyant and in questionable taste in colder weather.
Fabrics: Summer fabrics (cotton, linen, lightweight silk, tropical weight wool) are more casual than fall/winter fabrics (wool, cashmere, heavier silk). This is true for summer suits, blazers, sport coats and neckties. Shirting fabrics are pretty much the same year-round.
Patterns: Warm-weather patterns tend to be more playful than cold-weather designs. You might see whimsical prints on summer clothes (sailboat prints on Ivy League/country club summer pants and tiny tennis racket designs or madras plaids on summer cotton ties). Winter neckties come in "grown-up" heavy silk designs (regimental repp stripes, elegant neat foulards, and boardroom pin-dots).
Attitude: While an untucked polo or T-shirt can be standard casual wear with summer khakis and shorts, the same look can easily appear sloppy in fall and winter. Going sockless is another seasonal choice that seems logical in summer and affected (or ridiculous) in winter. Stylish sunglasses are a must-have summer accessory.
Price: Average prices in just about every element of men's clothing are lower in summer. A cotton khaki suit is less expensive than a fall/winter wool navy or charcoal suit. Seasonal tie prices also seem to mirror how relaxed or dressy the tie is. Shoes, too, reflect a big price difference with lightweight boat shoes and sneakers coming in at a far lower cost than wingtips or pricey winter boots. Not only is the season for wearing cold-weather clothes longer, and therefore more likely to justify spending more, but the overall tone of winter dressing suggests "work" while summer suggests "play."
To answer your original question a little more precisely, if you are a regular reader of this column, you know that I advise against a man wearing anything that is too "matched." While men should always pay attention to color coordinating their clothes, they should avoid wearing matched tie-and-pocket square sets, matched tie-and-suspender sets, and even too-precisely matched leather shoes and belts. Unlike women's clothing, where matched looks can be very smart, for men's dressing, the exactly matched look tends to be tacky and thoroughly unprofessional.
And, as the mother of four sons, I feel duty bound to remind you that once we give a gift, our control over how it is used is relinquished. The receiver gets to decide how and when to use (or wear) his gift.
So, I think that as long as the matching combo you bought for your husband and son are in the summer casual, fun category, you should leave it up to them as to whether they want to wear them together or separately.
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High Profile on 06/19/2016