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Matchmaking friends scored with introduction

“It’s been the largest part of my life, of course, but it doesn’t seem like 50 years to look back upon it. It really did fly by,” says Brenda Stevens, who married Fred Stevens on July 29, 1966.
“It’s been the largest part of my life, of course, but it doesn’t seem like 50 years to look back upon it. It really did fly by,” says Brenda Stevens, who married Fred Stevens on July 29, 1966.

When Brenda Miller's best friend, Sylvia, asked her to go to a movie with her boyfriend's best friend, she didn't hesitate to say yes.

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Special to the Democrat-Gazette

Brenda Stevens knew early on that she should look for someone of the same Christian denomination. For 47 years, she and her husband, Fred, have been members of the Meadow View Missionary Baptist Church, where he is a deacon and she is the pianist.

Brenda had only been out with a couple of boys more than once, but she was only a high school sophomore. And she didn't know much about this mystery man, but no matter.

The first time I saw my future spouse:

He says: “I thought that she was the prettiest thing I had ever seen.”

She says: “He was a very tall, very slim, nice-looking young man. I thought he would be a fun guy and we had a fun time on our date.”

On our wedding day:

He says: “We both went to work on our wedding day. I had to be in a really big hurry right at the end.”

She says: “It was a beautiful day. I don’t remember being particularly nervous.”

My advice for a lasting marriage:

She says: “You have to work at it. You have to try to have together time. But it’s a job and it’s something you have to work at at all times — everybody does. Share love and work to keep things together. And keep God at the forefront of our marriages and follow his direction, and make decisions together.”

He says: “Try to be there for each other and support each other.”

"I wasn't looking for a husband," says Brenda, who grew up in Magnet Cove, "I was just looking to go on a date."

Fred Stevens, a boy from Malvern, didn't know anything about Brenda, either.

"My friend, Robert, just told me that he wanted me to go out with this girl who was a friend of his girlfriend's," says Fred, who was 18 at the time. "I guess they thought that if they got along with each other and with us that we would get along, too."

Brenda remembers when Fred showed up at her door. Back in February 1963, boys were always expected to ring the doorbell and meet the parents of the girls they were taking out. Fred did that, and if he was intimidated by meeting her minister father, he didn't let on. Brenda liked him immediately.

"I don't know if it was love at first sight, but I definitely enjoyed being with him from the beginning," she says.

The four of them saw a movie that night. They went to a drive-in restaurant for a snack afterward, and then found some typical small town entertainment.

"We just did the usual driving back and forth between one side of town and the other before going home, from what I recall," she says.

The conversation was sparse.

"He was a quiet guy and I was quiet, too, so that was OK," she says.

He called her a few days later and they set up another date. This time, they went to a basketball game. She was in the pep squad and was required to be in the stands cheering during games.

"We all sat together but if I could get on the edge he could sit beside me, so that's what we did," she says.

Those were the first of many movies and many games they saw together over the next couple of years. It was while they aimlessly cruised the streets of Malvern that Fred asked Brenda if she would be his wife.

"Back then there wasn't as much of a production," she says of his simple, life-altering query. "We were just together out somewhere, out riding around."

Brenda's parents' first questions for the boys she went out with -- and Fred was no exception -- were who were their parents and where did they go to church.

"I remember that he had all the right answers and that they liked him," she says.

They didn't know his family but they knew the Missionary Baptist Church where he was a member. Her father was a Missionary Baptist minister.

"I was taught all my life to search for someone who was a Christian and my same denomination," says Brenda, who could have guessed his answers before she heard them.

Brenda's father, C.W. Miller, officiated at their wedding ceremony on July 29, 1966, in the living room of the Miller home. The newlyweds took a weekend honeymoon to Dallas/Fort Worth, going to Six Flags Over Texas before rushing back to their jobs the following Monday.

They have two sons -- Matt Stevens who lives with his wife, Mandy, in Trophy Club, Texas, and Craig Stevens, who lives with his wife, Jody, in Indianapolis. They have seven grandchildren.

Fred retired from Reynolds Metals and from the Arkansas Army National Guard. Brenda retired from National Park Medical Center in Hot Springs as a medical transcriptionist.

Fred and Brenda live in Malvern and are still in touch with Robert and Sylvia, who married before they did. As younger couples, they got together often to play cards and have dinner.

"The gals watched the kids mostly," Brenda laughs.

They don't see their friends as much anymore, having drifted apart slightly when the kids got older and Sylvia and Brenda went to work. But the Stevens' 50-year marriage is testament to the fact that their besties were right in their hunch that they might get along.

"We have," Fred says. "It doesn't feel like 50 years, that's for sure. Time has just kind of slipped by."

If you have an interesting how-we-met story or if you know someone who does, please call (501) 425-7228 or email:

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High Profile on 08/28/2016

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