The Huntsman: Winter's War

Like a depressingly high number of bad movies, Snow White and the Huntsman made money. Even though it tediously reworked the fairy tale into a dull, somber monstrosity, the hype about star Kristen Stewart's affair with her married director apparently convinced some unlucky viewers that the drama on-screen might be as intriguing as what happened during the filming.

The actors in The Huntsman: Winter's War appear to have kept their costumes on throughout the filming and after. Stewart has gone on to prove she can really act (Clouds of Sils Maria), and a new director, French special effects specialist Cedric Nicolas-Troyan, is at the helm.

Most of promotional information on The Huntsman: Winter's War points to how Oscar-winner Colleen Atwood's occasionally elegant costumes were an ergonomic nightmare for the cast. That's about as exciting as the film gets, too.

The new plotline had a small obstacle to overcome in that Charlize Theron's evil queen Ravenna died in the first movie. Nonetheless, when stockholders at Comcast read ledgers instead of scripts, terrible ideas can still be filmed.

In Winter's War, set before and after the events in Snow White and the Huntsman, Ravenna comes to take over the kingdom because she can kill people while playing chess. Her little sister Freya (Emily Blunt) is more of an innocent romantic, but that ends when her royal boyfriend murders their illegitimate child instead of making an honest woman of her.

With that sort of trauma, it's no wonder she develops power over ice and raises an army of child soldiers who overrun rival kingdoms.

If you have ever asked yourself what Frozen would have been like without the infectious songs, endearing characters, masterful storytelling and visual delights, The Huntsman: Winter's War is the answer.

In this movie's universe, a huntsman doesn't go chasing after tasty animals. In fact, a huntsman can actually be a woman. In The Huntsman, such people fight battles. In this world, they are called "warriors."

Anyway, two of the huntsmen, Eric (Chris Hemsworth) and Sara (Jessica Chastain), fall in love, and Freya banishes them for adoring each other instead of her. Characters rise from the dead on a regular basis in this world, so it's hard to get worked up when they do. Now that Snow White has taken over Ravenna's throne and is played by an unconvincing double for Stewart, Eric and a couple of dwarves (Rob Brydon and Nick Frost) have to hide Ravenna's magical mirror so Freya can't obtain it and cause even more damage.

Nicolas-Troyan can handle special effects but his fantasy world looks less enchanting than a sanitary landfill. Everything is gray, flat and blurry. There is neither enough grit nor beauty worth the ticket price. Somehow when he's been moved up to the director's chair, his special effects look even more like CGIs than images of wonder. The ice in your freezer is more visually arresting.

Theron is prominently billed, but she's hardly in the film. Her agent deserves some type of award for getting her an ample financial reward and maximum publicity for an effective but trifling cameo. A film that consisted of 114 minutes of Theron reading her contract aloud would be more entertaining than the one I sat through.

MovieStyle on 04/22/2016