According to a bulletin just into our newsroom from the Office of the Perfectly Obvious (OPO), Ben Roethlisberger will start at quarterback for the Steelers this weekend in Seattle.
So, as always, thanks for nothing.
This is almost as helpful as Mike Tomlin’s weekly news conference, at which it was revealed Tuesday that “we are who we are,” that “they are who they are,” and that “beast mode is beast mode.”
Again, as always.
Problem is, the big question is left hanging.
Ben will start, but the big question is, who will finish?
On one occasion or another in this turbulent 6-4 autumn, the Steelers have had Mike Vick finishing for Ben, Landry Jones finishing for Vick, and most recently Ben finishing for Jones. Forget that worn-to-the-threads sports cliche about how it’s not how you start but how you finish. The operative phrase around here is, “It’s not who you start but who you finish.”
In Jones’ first NFL victory as a starter, he completed three passes, none longer than 10 yards, and left with the score tied, 0-0. Out of the bullpen, Big Ben then threw for 379 yards and three touchdowns, rebooting Todd Haley’s offense as it embarks on this still-promising season’s final six weeks.
For the moment.
In this league and in this season, everything changes in a moment at the quarterback position.
Just look around.
In the AFC North alone, seven quarterbacks have started for the four teams, with an eighth coming Monday night when Matt Schaub takes over for Baltimore’s Joe Flacco at Cleveland. Flacco had his knee seriously misarranged Sunday against the St. Louis Rams, so any anticipation for a Flacco-Johnny Manziel matchup in prime time essentially has collapsed from both ends.
Cleveland’s Manziel, last seen officially throwing for 372 yards against the Steelers in a 30-9 loss Nov. 15, was seen unofficially on surveillance video purporting to show him partying in an Austin, Texas, club to kick off the team’s off weekend.
Cue Josh McCown, the Cleveland starter whose injured ribs brought on Manziel in the first place. Browns Coach Mike Pettine said Tuesday that McCown is healthy, which enables him to send Manziel back to the bench and perhaps beyond.
I think I’ve seen a store with that name — Bender, Bench and Beyond.
Eight quarterbacks have already started in the AFC South, where Andrew’s Luck has run out in Indianapolis, where the Houston Texans have used Brian Hoyer, Ryan Mallett, and T.J. Yates, where the Tennessee Titans were without rookie Marcus Mariota for a two games, and where no one, not surprising, has a winning record.
The AFC West is down a Manning (Peyton in Denver), and in the AFC East, Buffalo seems bent on getting Tyrod Taylor hurt, as Rex Ryan left him in the Monday night game against New England long after he evidently had injured his right shoulder or collarbone.
Cue EJ Manuel.
No wonder last weekend saw a season-high four games in which neither team scored 20 points.
Oh wait, there’s an entire other conference of injured QBs.
Tony Romo just got back from seven weeks modeling ballcaps on the Dallas Cowboys sideline, then was knocked out of the game in the second half of Thursday game against Carolina. The Eagles lost Sam Bradford and replaced him with Mark Sanchez, who arrived just in time to watch Tampa Bay and Detroit both paste 45 points on what used to be the Philadelphia defense
In the NFC West, San Francisco’s Colin Kaepernick and St. Louis Rams starter Nick Foles have been banged to the sidelines, triggering the Case Keenum spectacle that played out Sunday.
Keenum was body-slammed to the turf by Ravens defensive tackle Timmy Jernigan, made it to his feet only with the help of his offensive linemen, consulted briefly with only a trainer on the field and was somehow allowed to continue until he fumbled the game away moments later.
The league is investigating.
If all this fully illustrates just how minimally successful the league can be at protecting the players at its most important, valuable, and marketable position, imagine the danger everyone else is in.
The Steelers can give thanks for a relatively stable quarterback situation to start the holidays, but this is a team that has thrown an interception in four consecutive games, that has given the ball away at least twice in every one of those games, and that is converting third downs at a rate of only 28 percent since Oct. 18.
I don’t give Team Tomlin a great chance Sunday at Seattle, where the Seahawks have won 25 of their past 29, and where the Steelers will likely emerge from the tunnel the fourth- or fifth-biggest underdog on the NFL board.
If the Steelers are to fly home 7-4, I bet it’ll have something to do with a quarterback narrative that’s popped up only three times all year.
Ben starts and Ben finishes.