I like to think of myself as a work in progress.
Of course, exactly how much work is being done sort of depends on how many calories you can burn off rolling over in bed and hitting the "snooze" button (I'm hoping the answer is "a lot."). And how much progress is being made certainly depends on who you ask and how many extra rolls of toilet paper there are -- or aren't -- in the bathroom at any one time.
Still, despite a general disposition that runs a little south of "sunny," I'm kind of a self-help junkie. I read the books and magazine articles, watch the shows, stream the "TED Talks," even listen to the podcasts. I have been, metaphorically, of course, to the top of the Pyramid of Success. I've Found My Strengths (still looking for a way to monetize napping, but the search continues) and Thought and Grown ... well, in my case, drowsy.
Just because I don't actually do any of the things I read or hear about doesn't mean I don't appreciate the wonderful and sweeping changes that would have me living life to the fullest and chasing my dreams. Or something like that. Reminds me of an older fellow employee who said, "I love hard work. I could watch it all day."
And yes, I know. Much of what I've read or heard is, basically, pixie dust. The occasional spot-on insights are surrounded by fortune cookie sayings being read, enthusiastically, by a guy in a tight T-shirt and one of those Madonna headsets.
But that doesn't stop me from, periodically, deciding I'm going to start being The Best Possible Me. Even if it kills me. Or just annoys me and everyone around me really, really badly.
That is "the space I was inhabiting" (I have no idea what that means. Sure does sound cool, though, doesn't it?) the other day when I decided to follow the advice of the self-help tape playing constantly in my head and Go For It ("it" not being clearly defined, but apparently something one should, basically, go for.).
According to my mental tape (or just a voice in my head, which probably changes the entire tenor of my need for "self-help" to "help" of a different sort, but that's probably a discussion for another time.), I should "embrace the day and all its shining possibilities"
• Express the things you are happy for, wish your wishes and throw open the door to your world."
Which I did, only to discover that, whatever the shining possibilities of the day, the probability was a torrential downpour of monsoon-like proportions. So as the dogs and I stood and watched our picnic table float by, I expressed how happy I was that, unlike them, my morning bathroom break didn't involve going out in that. And they probably wished their wish that they were actually cats.
• "Never stop seeking, searching, looking for the things that will fulfill you and make you happy."
Or in the case of the lovely Mrs. Smith and myself, keep searching for things like your cellphone, keys or laptop, which will allow us to answer phone calls, look up things on the Internet or unlock our house. Apparently, in our quest for security as well as improvement, we've taken to hiding things in places so secure we don't even know where they are. Which doesn't stop us from tearing a perfectly good chest of drawers apart looking for them. At least it didn't the other day.
• "You hold the key to your success. Just stay positive, turn the ignition and hit the gas to your tomorrows."
So, holding the key to your success is important. Holding the key to a car with a fully functioning battery is pretty important, too. In fact, there are probably times when it's even more important than that whole "success" thing. Like, when you're not. Did I mention the torrential rain?
However, "staying positive" did turn out to be important. Because, on a car, black is positive, right? Oh, wow, no, well, wow, no, apparently not. Looks like I'll be doing a little bit of that "questing" thing. For a new battery. And the fire extinguisher.
Now look, I get it. There are lots of people out there who, in these troubled times, could just use a little advise and perhaps a tad more focus and positivity in their lives. People like, oh, I don't know, me. And maybe the key to happiness is never being entirely satisfied with who you are, and constantly searching for ways to be a little bit better every day. Probably without the tight T-shirt.
For, as T.S. Eliot said, "We shall not cease from exploration, and the end of all our exploring will be to arrive where we started and know the place for the first time."
Now, if only that included knowing where you put your cell phone.
Commentary on 11/20/2015