They're grown-ups now, ages 45 to 59, scattered across the country. They include a lawyer, chef, coach and publisher. But once every year, they travel to various locales to become kids again, short-sheeting each other's beds and dousing showering roommates with ice water.
"When we're together, things like status, jobs and incomes don't matter," said Larry Genkin, 49, of Sarasota, Fla., of his reunions with his mischievous buddies from Camp Comet in Waynesboro, Pa., who met in the 1970s. "[They] love you for who you are. It's magical."
Count Genkin among the people who take time to reunite with childhood friends, a ritual that takes much planning and some placating, but pays off, big-time.
"We laugh and laugh," said Katy Lenn, 54, of Eugene, Ore., of the women she meets every two years for a week-long reunion. "We do something different every time, like 'glamping' [a fancy version of camping] or staying on a B&B boat."
When together, the teacher, upholsterer and librarian (Lenn) "are still high schoolers from Elgin, Ill.," she said. The upholsterer brings their group scrapbook, which grows with each trip.
"It's like the clock hasn't advanced," said David Auerbach, 38, of Dallas, talking about the 30 childhood friends he joins for five days each June at Camp Ojibwa in Eagle River, Wis. Now in their 30s and 40s, they met at the camp as kids. (Auerbach's group has an arrangement with the camp's owner to meet there before it officially opens to youngsters.) They wake up to 8 a.m. reveille, sleep in bunk beds and build campfires.
'MY FAMILY TOO'
"We try not to talk about what's going on in the world," said Auerbach, admitting to one concession to adulthood: They ditch some of the mess-hall meals for fish-fries at Wisconsin supper clubs.
"I have sisters, but these people are my family, too," said New York psychiatrist Philip Muskin, 66, of his sixth-grade buddies from Brooklyn, who have reunions at each other's homes. "If they need me, I'm there. If I need them, they're there."
Although the men and women in Muskin's group lead diverse lives, and make their living as doctors, lawyers, retailers, etc., "they're the people who know who you really are," he said. "My buddies know I'm really a nerd who sucked as an athlete."
Unlike get-togethers with friends made later in life, Muskin said, seeing childhood friends "allows us to re-experience some of the fun stuff, like -- for us -- '60s music, and put the bad stuff in perspective. It brings you back to the days when life was fun, when you didn't have so many obligations and pressures. When I was that age, all I had to worry about was grades and girls."
However, reuniting with childhood friends is not about reliving the past, Muskin added. "It's about seeing the value of it and sharing it," he said. "Our childhood friends give us perspective our relatives and professional colleagues cannot."
"They're the first ones there when one of our parents dies, and also the first ones there to tell you when you're screwing up," said Angela Strelka, 55, of her 14 grade-school friends from Milwaukee. Over annual lunches at their homes, and fundraisers that group members support, they coach one another through life's trials and tribulations.
"Four of us did a charity mud run," she said. "When I didn't think I could make it over a tall wall, others from my group were on the other side telling me I could do it. I did."
'THROUGH THICK AND THIN'
"We see each other through thick and thin -- job loss, divorce, teens in rehab, death of parents," said Andrea Martone, 60, of Sarasota, who still gets together with pals from her Port Washington, N.Y., junior high. "If one of us has a problem, it's everyone's problem."
So tight are the bonds among the reuniongoers, others -- as in, significant others -- rarely join them.
"When we loosened our 'no spouses' rule, some spouses came, but didn't come back because it was no fun for them," Genkin said. Ditto for Muskin's group.
"Ours was all-boys in 1987 and still is," Auerbach said.
Strelka said some of their mothers attend her group's reunion because they share neighborhood roots.
"But when we tried to include our daughters, that didn't go over well," she said. "They didn't grow up together."
Between get-togethers, the friends keep in touch by email or phone. "We email often -- just silly things," Muskin said. "One sends us pictures of his backyard because many of us who live in the city don't have backyards."
But although social media make it easier to connect between reunions, it's not the same as meeting face to face, which is why the reunion attendees make the effort, knowing that sometimes life will get in the way.
"We missed a few reunions because of babies or sick parents," Lenn said of her group's members. "That's OK. We're still together."
"Nurturing old friendships is work," Martone acknowledged. "But it comes back to you, tenfold."
BOLSTERS WELL-BEING
Indeed, Muskin said that retaining these friendships bolsters well-being. "These are the connections that keep us healthy," he said.
Studies by social neuroscientists have shown that "social interaction helps us live longer and be healthier -- mentally and physically," said Naomi Eisenberger, psychology professor at UCLA. "Now, new neuroimaging techniques help us understand why. The same part of the brain is affected when we feel warmth as when we're in a close relationship. On the other hand, physical pain activates the same part of the brain that social rejection does." When we spend time with friends, our bodies release oxytocin, called the "feel-good hormone."
With older friends, there's the added gift of a support system reaching back to youth, and an understanding of each other's history.
"Some people are afraid they'll be judged because they didn't become millionaires," Muskin said, "but your old friends are incredibly accepting. These are the people who knew you when you were a nobody. They don't care what you do for a living or if you're blue-collar or white-collar. To my old friends, I'm not a psychiatrist. I'm the kid who got suspended for shooting the history teacher with a squirt gun."
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It's never too late to begin reunions with your childhood buddies. Follow these tips from veteran participants:
Agree on timing, be it every year or every five years, so everyone can plan time away from work and family.
Designate an organizer. Then trust that person to handle the details, Martone said.
Make it a destination reunion, if everyone can afford it. Distancing yourselves from jobs and families can help you leave your troubles and obligations behind.
Exploit social media to reconnect, and arrange reunions, with old friends. Thanks to sites like meetup.com and dating sites, it is no longer "forward" to approach people out of the blue.
Initiate a tradition at the reunion. Lenn's group of high school friends meets in a different state each time, then drops in unannounced on an old schoolmate. "We've seen people including a priest in Minnesota and a psychologist in Michigan -- all very surprised!" she said.
Include or exclude partners, as long as everyone agrees.
Keep in touch between reunions. In case of emergency, tell your spouse how to reach your group. Said Muskin: "I tell my wife that when I die, she had better tell them, or they'll think I'm ignoring their emails."
High Profile on 03/08/2015