Note: Otus the Head Cat is on assignment, but as a historical curiosity left this column from Sept. 6, 1980, that appeared under the headline "Reviewing Morris' book gives tingle to Otus."
Background: After only five months, Otus the Head Cat's column had become hugely popular on the Arkansas Democrat's Saturday Omnibust page. So popular, he was sent books to review.
Incidentally, a pristine hardcover first edition of The Morris Approach may still be purchased on Amazon.com for $20. Used copies go for $3.99.
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I'm usually not one to get all gushy over celebrities, but I had a thrill last week that is still giving me a tingle.
Morris -- yes, the Morris -- the Cat, sent me his new book to review, along with a photo of himself and his personal pawtograph for my collection.
His book, The Morris Approach: An Insider's Guide to Cat Care, will be on the shelves soon and is an absolute must for every cat owner out there and cheap at $6.95.
A stickler for accuracy, Morris spent months interviewing fellow felines. Morris' human collaborator, Barbara Burn, actually wrote the thing, but Morris edited it, inserting his brilliant one-liners and unequalled pearls of wisdom.
Some of the fascinating chapters are: "The Cat-Human Relationship, (or how to adjust humans to the fact that people need cats more than we need them)"; "Beauty and Physical Fitness (or, how to live all nine lives to the fullest)"; and "The Facts of Life (or, how to teach humans that birds and bees have nothing to do with real life in a book about cats)."
Highlighting the book are 26 photographs of the cat who put icky in finicky. Well, technically he didn't do it by himself. I mean Morris is really Morris II. For as we all know, the original Morris (Kalaka rest his souls) went to the Great Litter Box in the Sky at the venerable age of 19 (that's 133 for humans) back in 1978.
But what a trouper. The first Morris starred in 46 TV commercials and left this life doing what he loved best -- sleeping. But the commercials must go on and the search for a new Morris began.
They found him deep in the bowels of an East Coast humane society. His owner, one Bob Martwick, brought him home to Chicago and the rest, as they say, is show biz history.
Morris, a perfectionist on screen, has always amazed me with his thespian ability. And it is astonishing that he has never had any formal training. Now we are treated to another side of this most creative of cats.
This Barbara person does an adequate job with the basic cat facts, but it would be just another how-to book if not for Morris' contribution. She, for example, in one chapter relates all the standard stuff about how to adjust to a new cat and how to read your cat's body language. Morris gets straight to the important information.
For example:
"If there is a guest in the house who doesn't like cats, go into the bedroom and lie on his coat."
"If your human is sleeping comfortably, lie on his chest and breathe in his face. This is very effective if you've eaten tuna fish."
"If your human is reading, lie down on the newspaper. This is especially effective if he's working the crossword puzzle. Play with the pencil."
"Just before human's bedtime, curl up in the middle of his bed and look as if you've been there for hours."
"No matter where you are or what you are doing, when you hear a can opener touch metal, trot promptly to the kitchen and jump on the counter."
"If life is getting a bit dull, find where the knickknacks are artfully placed and take a stroll."
"If the vet attempts to give you a pill, don't protest. Just hold it on your tongue and when he turns around, spit it out."
"If your human brings home a dog, look depressed. Hold out for some new toys, catnip, gourmet food or diamond collar."
That's just a sampling of the wit and wisdom to be found in The Morris Approach. That alone would be enough to make the effort a best-seller.
Morris is currently on a nationwide publicity tour to promote the book and was seen recently on the Tom Snyder Tomorrow show. Eighty reporters turned out in New York for his appearance. That was more than with Snyder's famous interview with John Lennon.
The bottom line: Otus rates this one four stars. It's sure to become a collector's item and will be a prized addition to your great works collection.
Until next time, may Kalaka protect you from ailurophobes.
Disclaimer
Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat's award-winning column of humorous fabrication appears every Saturday. Email:
HomeStyle on 07/04/2015