So, some days just aren't your best days in life.
Some days, you've found things for which to be grateful, started your day full of joy, hope and confidence and are full of anticipation. You know, whatever.
And then, some days, well ... not so much.
Why? Well, you've got me. Maybe there's something to that "getting up on the wrong side of the bed" thing. Maybe sometimes you're just not grateful enough. Whatever it is, sometimes you get the bear, and sometimes the bear gets you. And sometimes the bear starts early.
Take, for instance (and you're welcome to it), one day last week. I was running a little bit behind and needed to get to work. Now, most people in this situation would just buckle down, accept their fates and get in as fast as they could without taking on anything else.
Oh, no. That would be too easy.
Instead, I decided this was the perfect time to try out the new phone app that allows me to order coffee from my favorite national coffee chain (think mermaids on the cup) and just waltz in, pick it up and waltz out to the jealous stares of those waiting in line. Or at least those who looked up from their cellphones long enough to notice. So, exactly no one.
This app is great. This app is colorful. This app will save you loads of time and allow you, for at least a minute, to pretend you're tech savvy, at least until you find yourself pointlessly pushing buttons on the remote trying to get the TV and cable to come on at the same time or start looking for the "any" key.
And this app would be even better if it didn't crash your phone five times and then assure you that, instead of a cup of, you know, coffee, you ordered a Skinny Peppermint Twist Mocha with a Double Shot. Which is either a drink or a dance, neither of which I want.
At this point, life starts to pile on. Traffic on Interstate 49 is ridiculous (which is to say, pretty much normal). The light at the intersection right before my life-saving coffee stop was broken so I waited through two full cycles before running it (yeah, that was me.). I almost got hit in the parking lot by one of the most dangerous of all Northwest Arkansas threats--a driver with a cell phone. Then I almost hit a driver who forgot what comes next after backing out of a parking spot (that would be "driving").
So my agitation level was a little high when I tried to pull back onto the interstate and saw cars had come to almost a complete stop because someone was trying to merge into traffic and was so completely hesitant as to virtually shut down the highway.
Now, a lot of people, filled with the spirit of gratitude, would view this as a mere speed bump on the way to a brighter day. I ... was not one of those people. I gunned my car into passing lane and flew by the offending auto, hurling all the invective I could come up with on short notice (and I was raised on military posts and played a lot of sports, so I can come up with a lot of invective fairly quickly, thank you).
It was a nun.
And not even a mean-looking, knuckle-wrapping nun. No, this was a tiny little Christmas tree ornament of a nun, barely able to see over the steering wheel of the very sensible compact equipped with tons of safety features (but, apparently, no acceleration) she was piloting forward in an activity much like driving. She was in full game uniform, topped off with those wrap-around sunglasses that look like welding goggles. And I had just dog-cussed her on the interstate. I didn't honk, so I've got that going for me. I guess.
So, in a sense there's an amazing freedom to this. Whatever I do the rest of my life, when I hit my expiration date, my afterlife location is clear. I can deliver blankets to widows and orphans, keep Christmas always in my heart and always look on the bright side of life, and it doesn't matter.
When that day comes, as it comes for us all, and my personal roll is called up yonder, I don't need to worry. I can hear the conversation now: "Acts of charity and kindness, check. Ended world hunger, check. Managed to bring peace to the warring nations, check. Cussed a nun -- yeah, that's a problem. Got a nice spot for you, right over there between Hitler and Stalin."
If there's any lesson out of this, it's that we probably need to take things a little easier. Don't worry so much about the small stuff, don't rely too much about things like apps and "time-saving" devices to provide you with shortcuts. Things like broken street lights and crowded parking lots happen and you can't let them dictate how you feel.
And if you have one of those days when you can't do any of those, at least have the good sense to watch out for the nuns.
Commentary on 12/11/2015