Commentary

Globetrotters lose by ditching Generals

Big Al Szolack was shocked when he heard the news Friday.

One of the sports world's great traditions had gone down.

"I'm searching for words," he said. "It's something generations of Americans have been enjoying for how many years?"

Sixty-three. That's how long the Washington Generals had been getting their brains beaten in by the Harlem Globetrotters. Then they'd show up the next day to try again.

Word seeped out last week the Generals have been dumped. The company that owns the Globetrotters, Herschend Family Entertainment Corp., did not renew the contract.

It was done quietly, like a corporate knife in the back. I don't usually lament a team that hasn't won a game in 44 years, but the Generals were special.

They were us.

"Most of us weren't the starting quarterback in college or starting point guard in high school," General Manager John Ferrari said. "You tried hard, but maybe you came in second or third or fifth. But you try. And you keep going, and you get up tomorrow and try again.

"That's who the Generals were."

Ferrari received a call last month saying the gig was up. The final game was played Aug. 1 in Wildwood, N.J.

The Generals lost.

Herschend hasn't elaborated on the move, but Ferrari figures it was just a business decision. Alumni like Szolack aren't so magnanimous.

"It's a disgrace," he said.

It certainly not the typical Globetrotter move that leaves them laughing. The Generals were almost as much of an institution as their mighty rivals.

They were the lovable losers, getting their shorts pulled down and basketballs stuck in their jerseys. They sacrificed their dignity so fans around the world could get a laugh.

The fix was never in, however. There was no rule saying the Globetrotters had to win.

The Generals were required to play along with the "show-play" routines, where the Globetrotters would toss a water bucket, do the weave, hide the ball and end up scoring on some dipsy-doo dunk.

"We were spotting them 28 points a night," said Szolack, who played the 1974-75 season.

Otherwise, the Generals could play straight-up basketball. They were real players, and they could sacrifice their dignity only so far.

Szolack remembered touring Italy. The Globetrotters rode in a luxury bus and stayed in Hiltons. The Generals had a van and stayed in dumps.

In one game, a Globetrotter rumbled to the basket for a layup. A General fouled him hard, triggering a bench-clearing brawl.

"The people were clapping," Szolack said. "They thought it was part of the show."

His career record against Meadowlark Lemon & Co. was 0-245. Most accounts say the Generals won six games and lost at least 16,000.

Insert Knicks joke here.

The last Washington victory came Jan. 25, 1971, in Martin, Tenn. Red Klotz, the Generals' legendary player-coach, made the final basket to give Washington a 100-99 victory. Fans were aghast.

"They looked at us like we killed Santa Claus," Klotz said.

He began the Generals in 1952, when Globetrotters founder Abe Saperstein decided his barnstorming team needed a steady foil. Klotz named his squad after President Eisenhower.

It briefly took names like Boston Shamrocks and Atlantic City Seagulls, but crowds would eventually clamor for the name they knew.

It became the go-to metaphor for futility far beyond sports. Homer Simpson once referred to the Luftwaffe as the Washington Generals of the History Channel.

How do you replace that? The Generals and Globetrotters were yin and yang.

One represented the stars we all want to be. The other showed us how to deal with what we are.

"It bothers me," Szolack said, "that they could blow that off so easily."

After 63 years of faithful service, Santa has killed his elf.

Sports on 08/16/2015

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