I was all prepared to fake watch a college football game while actually napping on the sofa the other day (ya, the snoring is never a give-away there), when my keen powers of observation alerted me that something was amiss.
It took me a few minutes, but I was finally able to deduce what was wrong. The soft, cozy sofa spot just close enough to the TV that I can see it in the brief moments before I fall asleep but far enough from the footstool that I can fully extend my arm to put my drink on it was not nearly as vacant as I had projected it was going to be.
Seems it was occupied by one of the progeny.
Now, that's not an entirely unheard-of situation. For one thing, one of them still lives at home. However, since he's a teenage boy, he's usually hiding out in his room, except for those occasional foraging sessions to the fridge. Having a teenage boy is sort of like having an outdoor cat. You're pretty sure he's there because the food keeps disappearing and things keep getting torn up, but you may only catch glimpses of him.
As for the rest of them, a combination of my sage advice and colorful anecdotes and their mother's incredible cooking ensures at least some of them are usually around. A note here: saying my story-telling and the Lovely Mrs. Smith's cooking keep our children coming over is like saying Bill and Roger Clinton are an incredibly successful brother duo. Technically true, but one half of the tandem is doing a little more heavy lifting than the other.
Anyway, since my keen powers of observation also determined there was nothing cooking (well, I had just been in the kitchen and I hadn't seen anything, so...), I was at a loss as to why this particular progeny wasn't happily off getting a parking ticket in Fayetteville. She informed me she was on fall break.
I almost bought it, too. I mean, sure, fall break. Give me a break. I mean, just how dumb does she think I am to buy that a semester that includes practically a week off for Thanksgiving also has budgeted in a few vacation days for no calendar-related reason?
OK, so I was wrong. Which may also answer my own question.
Apparently, it is now quite common for colleges to give students a "fall break." I'm assuming this is because the fall semester got a look at spring break and started complaining. All right, probably not.
This must be something of a modern phenomenon, since I don't remember anything like it when I was in school. However, I don't actually remember much from about the middle of my freshman year till I woke up in a lecture hall and found out I was a junior, so anything's possible.
All right, that's not exactly true. I do recall some foggy images of math equations on a board and something about final tests, but I think those may be hallucinations or bad dreams or something.
And I will say there were certainly plenty of occasions where I decided to take a few days off from classes during the fall. However, I'm pretty sure that was a little more ad hoc and wasn't exactly, oh, say, officially sanctioned.
But what this really does is serve to remind me that my children's college experience may have about as much in common with mine as Lindbergh's flight across the Atlantic had with the Concorde.
They take tests on line. Heck, they take entire courses online from universities that may not actually exist, at least in the brick-and-mortar sense. They pick classes on computers instead of computer classes from a catalog, we go "paperless" (and then, penny-less) when it's time to pay for tuition and we have to weigh the benefits of a parking garage pass and a meal plan that includes a sandwich shop (my university had a bike rack and mystery meat).
It is, in fact, a far different world, one that includes online alternatives and a far more global outlook than I experienced. And, apparently, two or three days off in the fall.
Which may not be such a bad thing for the students. And, perhaps, maybe even for their parents, who, despite what they may say, actually sort of like having them around.
Even if they take the best spot on the sofa.
GARY SMITH IS A RECOVERING JOURNALIST LIVING IN ROGERS.
Commentary on 10/30/2014