LAND’S sakes. Or rather, blimey. The internetted universe claims that a couple of lads from across the pond are visiting Memphis, Tenn., this weekend for a wedding. Their names are-get this-Prince William and Prince Harry.

Those names are familiar to most Americans, if not all Americans, because they’re British royalty. Americans long ago, uh, negotiated our way toward a break with Great Britain-after a bit of a fight, we’re told. But maybe it’s best not to bring all that up with company coming. Southerners are nothing if not tactful.

Besides, in these later times, and for the longest, Americans in general have had this thing for British royalty. Many on this side of the Atlantic will remember getting up before daylight to watch the wedding of a couple named Charles and Diana one summer in 1981. Later, the couple would have children. Now it’s said those children have a friend getting married just over The River in the city east of West Memphis.

Welcome to the American South, y’all. You’re gonna love it. Even if we’re still divided by a common language. You may need an American-to-English dictionary, or maybe a Suthuhn-to-English dictionary, to help you get around. The natives in these parts, and the native tongue, can be confusing. Here are a few hints:

Y’all is a contraction for you all, as in the plural of you. It is never to be used in the singular. And if you’re in need of a second-person pronoun for a whole bunch of kin, All Y’all may be used.

Biscuits are wonderful here, so help yourself. But they’re not what you might expect from British usage. They’re not cookies. Do try one, or three, at breakfast. Surely in Memphis you can find a cook who knows what Cat Head Biscuits are-and don’t worry: A cat is not involved in any part of the process. Try one with butter only. Then the next one with butter and some fruit preserves, preferably figs. And the next with butter and a little honey.

Call it your own taste test. Oh, and don’t ask for a banger to go with the biscuits. Ask for sausage. Otherwise, somebody might hand you a hammer.

We have plenty of tea in these latitudes and longitudes. But in May, in the American South, it’s likely to be iced unless you request it otherwise. If you want hot tea at tea time in a real tea cup, you’ll have to ask for it. Just. Like. That.

If you remark on the number of articulated lorries you see on our interstates, you’ll likely confuse us. We call them 18-wheelers. Cars here don’t have bonnets and boots, but hoods and trunks. And don’t get us started on football/soccer.

BUT YOU’LL be fine, you two lads. We suspicion you folks will have handlers to tell you what it means when a Southerner starts off a sentence with “We suspicion.” Just beware: We in the American South like to paint words into conversation just so, not unlike you Brits. In English here and abroad, connotation is all. We may add a touch of blue where it’s needed, if the company is not mixed, and a slash of green where it’s least expected. Just to keep you interested in the conversation.

We don’t much cotton to using words just to communicate information or an idea, but to communicate us, our surroundings, that is, our sense of place-another well-honed Southern characteristic.

Just listen to a young woman at the reception on the other side of the Rivah drop her Rs at the end of words to make them sound less abrupt, so they don’t end as much as gently fade away. No sense alarmin’ anybody.

The final hard g in gerunds may also fade away in the interests of calm and musicality. Just as there’s no need to jar the senses by pronouncing the whole word photographer when photograph-ah sounds less imposing.

You may notice that the farther east in the South you go, the fewer and fewer Rs you hear. On the coast of Georgia, they haven’t been heard for yee-ahs. You’ll have to look hard to find any there-or find a Texas license plate.

Do enjoy the wedding. If you get an extra day, cross The River-that’s The River, the one and only Father of Waters, the Mississippi-and tool around Arkansas a bit. We’d love to have y’all. If you can’t find Cat Head Biscuits in Memphis, any Arkansawyer can give you the family recipe.

Most of all, have a spot-on holiday, and do hurry back, ya heah?

Editorial, Pages 16 on 05/03/2014