Second thoughts

Hogs coach new Kiffin, writer says

Clay Travis of OutkickTheCoverage.com once wrote Coach Bret Bielema’s hiring at Arkansas ranked as the best new hire in the SEC.

Now, in a blog post written Wednesday, Travis compared Bielema to former Tennessee Coach Lane Kiffin.

“Bielema’s a disaster, the latest Lane Kiffin to join the SEC,” Travis wrote. “You remember Kiffin’s short-lived tenure at Tennessee, right? How he blew into town from a different geographic region convinced that he was going to dominate the SEC. With his hot blonde wife in tow, Kiffin embarked on a series of ill-fated public comments, brought the NCAA to Knoxville for an investigation that somehow ended up costing Bruce Pearl his job, stumbled through to a 7-6 first season record, and then blew out of town for the job at USC just a couple of weeks before signing day.

“Along the way it became clear that Kiffin had no idea about Tennessee or its job, basing most of his decision to accept the job on recruiting questionnaires he had sent out that revealed Tennessee to be one of the best known programs in the country. Upon his arrival in Knoxville, Kiffin found out that Vol fans actually wanted to meet the head coach when he went out to dinner and that it was cold in the winter, two things that he’d had no idea about prior to accepting the job.

“Now let’s compare Kiffin with Bret Bielema, who blew into Fayetteville with a hot blonde wife and immediately compared his Big Ten coaching record, in a favorable manner, to Nick Saban’s.

Then he proceeded to go 0-8 in the SEC, putting him just two losses away from Nick Saban’s total SEC losses in seven years.

While every other first year SEC coach racked up sterling recruiting classes, Bielema signed the SEC’s 11th best class. Then, not content with a winless fall and an awful recruiting class in the nation’s most competitive conference, Bielema embarked on a tour de force performance in stupidity by arguing that he opposed hurry up no huddle offenses because of ‘death certificates’ and ‘sickle cell disease.’

“I actually feel sorry for Arkansas fans. The rational ones realize that they’re driving their pick-up trucks full speed towards a brick wall. They’ve gone from believing that Bobby Petrino would win them a national championship, which he might well have done, to John L. Smith, to a guy from Wisconsin who walks around like Rust Cohle in True Detective, writing down cultural observations in his oversized notebook so he fits in better. ‘Ah, the locals like guns, let me buy one.’ Only Bielema will buy a silencer on the Internet and get arrested for illegal firearms possession. ‘Ah, the locals like hunting dogs.’ Only Bielema buys a Yorkie poo.

“Everything gets lost in translation. That’s what happens when you’re an awful fit.” They said it

Greg Cote of The Miami Herald, on Duck Dynasty becoming the Independence Bowl’s new title sponsor: “Because it wasn’t bad enough your team was relegated to playing in the Independence Bowl in Shreveport.”

Comedy writer Alan Ray, on how one can tell the Philadelphia 76ers are having a bad season: “Fans still wave foam fingers, but they’re a different finger.” Quote of the day

“We’re in the hunt for something. I don’t know what.” Coach Mike Anderson on Arkansas’ postseason outlook following its 71-69 loss to South Carolina in the SEC Tournament

Sports, Pages 20 on 03/14/2014

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