Parents considering adding a pet to the family may have a vision of Rover romping through the park with little Jimmy and Suzie -- a loyal, trusted friend and playmate like Old Yeller. Before the rabies.
But if parents don't put in some work from the get-go, they risk watching their dream of a pet-child utopia ending up like something out of Cujo.
The steps to a happy pet-child union start (or should start) before the new pet has even been chosen, experts say.
• Rule 1: Do research.
It's easy to see a photo online and say, "Oh, how cute. I want a dog like that."
But that's a huge (and common) mistake, says Sonya Lavergne of Hillcrest Animal Hospital. It's important for any potential owners to research breeds before selecting a dog or cat, but breeds matter even more where children are involved.
Families need to know what they're getting into. For instance, chows look like teddy bears, but they're on many "worst dogs for families" lists because they tend to be dominant and aggressive. And tiny dogs like chihuahuas are more likely to be nervous around small children and are more likely to be injured by an over-enthusiastic child.
In the absence of sheep, herding dogs tend to herd children -- by nipping. Enthusiastic Labrador retrievers can accidentally bowl small children over. These are correctable behaviors, when parents are prepared.
Then there's energy level. If the parents are taking care of a baby and trying to corral a toddler, a frisky lab puppy or a kitten could overwhelm them. On the other hand, if the family is very active, an adorable but sedentary English bulldog probably wouldn't rise to the occasion of daily jogs.
Cats are much the same. While they need less care in terms of potty breaks and daily walks, they still require varying levels of attention, affection and playtime. Some cat breeds shed more than others, and human tolerance for stray hair does vary.
And dogs' and cats' needs will change over time, and most will live more than 10 years.
Lavergne says, "Sometimes adults will forget what a puppy turns into."
While breed traits are helpful indicators of pet personality and physical attributes, each cat or dog is still an individual, and just as with people, some aren't fond of kids.
"Some dogs are just terrified of children," says dog trainer and behaviorist Charlotte Mallion, founder of See Spot Sit in Sherwood. "They don't look or smell like adults."
Likewise, some cats are alarmed and irritated by children's noise and sudden movements while others love to play and snuggle.
So, before adopting a dog or cat, it's important to watch the child and pet interact in a safe, supervised environment.
Does the dog back away and tuck its tail? Is the puppy hyperactive? Does the cat hiss or swat when a child comes too close? If so, it might be best to look elsewhere.
Knowing an animal's history -- if it has been around children before, what the parents' personalities are like -- is also helpful.
Whatever the case, all the experts stress that while it's important to involve children in the selection process, the final word should rest with Mom and Dad, who have done research and approach the choice with a clear head.
"They should be the ones that decide in the end," says Anna Beall, program coordinator with CARE: Central Arkansas Rescue Effort for Animals. "They should be picky."
• Rule 2: Time it right.
Beall says, "When you bring a dog home, in order for them to adjust, especially to a family with kids, it should be as low-key as possible."
It may be tempting to get a dog or cat as a special Christmas treat, but does the holiday entail chaos, excitement and travel? All increase the possibility a dog or cat could overreact to confusion and bite or scratch or that its basic needs could be overlooked. Establishing potty habits would be easier after home life returns to normal, too.
For the same reasons, experts suggest it's not a good idea to acquire a pet just before or after a move, when there's a new baby coming, in the middle of a divorce and so on.
It's also important to keep the child's age in mind.
Mallion says it's fine to bring a new dog into the family when there's a baby, if the parents don't mind being stretched thinly. For everyones' sakes, though, Beall recommends waiting until a child is at least 3 or 4, old enough to take instructions and start to understand how to interact respectfully with the pet.
That leads into --
• Rule 3: Train the child how to treat the pet.
"You hear, 'My kids love to ride my English mastiff and he doesn't care,'" Mallion says. "I guarantee he does. He just tolerates it. There will come a time when he won't."
To avoid a painful, possibly tragic incident, it's best to teach the children up front, before the pet is even chosen, and to continue the instruction after the new pet comes home.
Mallion says, "Dogs are not people. Dogs are not ponies. Dogs are not pillows. Dogs are not beds. Teach the dog to respect the child and teach the child to respect the dog."
That means explaining that certain actions don't mean the same things for dogs and cats as they do for humans. Hugging doesn't mean affection to most dogs. It's a display of dominance. Similarly, holding a dog's face and looking it in the eye, something Beall says she sees children do frequently, is "very aggressive."
Beall says that at CARE, if a child mistreats an animal and is not immediately corrected by the parent, adoption will be denied.
• Rule 4: Train the pet how to treat the child.
Teaching the new pet its place in the household pecking order should start right away, particularly with dogs. Limits, rules and barriers should be clear from the start.
When bringing home an adult dog, Mallion suggests, let older children feed the dog its first meals so "the dog will see the child as pack leader."
If there's a baby in the house, safety is more about keeping the baby and the dog or cat away from each other or closely watching their interactions.
If the dog's a nipper and there's a toddler in the house, Mallion suggests having the child carry a large chew toy. When the dog gets too frisky, the child can hand over the toy as a distraction until a parent or older child can correct the dog's behavior.
Involving older children in the training process is an excellent way to set boundaries. "I encourage it highly," Mallion says. "It builds a bond between a child and a dog."
Mallion says she taught her 4-year-old granddaughter to give verbal commands and hand signals as soon as she was old enough so Mallion's dogs would "see her as being the boss."
• Rule 5: Be vigilant.
"It is never OK to leave a dog and child unsupervised," Mallion warns.
Regardless of the dog or cat's nature or any training kids and pets have had, parents must remain vigilant because slip-ups can happen. A small child can forget. A dog or cat can have a sore back or just be plain moody and less tolerant than usual.
"It's really the parent's responsibility to be a buffer, to make sure the child's not too rough with the pet and vice versa," says Lavergne, especially when dealing with a baby or toddler too young to understand. It only takes a second for a child to tug or pull or climb. Startled or in pain, a normally calm animal will lash out purely on instinct.
Mallion warns, "If it's a baby, oftentimes, unfortunately, the first thing in the dog's path will be the baby's head."
"You can't guarantee that while you're washing the dishes the dog's not going to try to bite because the kid's climbing all over him," Beall adds.
• Rule 6: Have reasonable expectations.
Tending a pet might teach a child responsibility, but it's a mistake to expect a 10-year-old to be primary caregiver every day.
"That pretty much never works unless it's a very responsible teenager," Beall warns.
• Rule 7: Keep up the research and training.
Even after the dog or cat has settled in, experts say, parents should be alert to problem behavior -- and to heed warning signs. Particularly helpful is staying in contact with the breeder, rescue agency, veterinarian or with a dog trainer who can help parents identify and correct problems before they get serious.
Beall recalls a dog who was returned to CARE after biting a child.
"There had been things the dog had done to show it wasn't happy," Beall says. "They had not contacted us and told us she had displayed all these other behaviors until she bit. She finally just had it with the child."
Regular vet visits also lessen the chance of a pet's passing a parasite or disease to its humans.
It takes a lot of work by the parents, but the love of a well-cared-for pet rewards the whole family. As Lavergne says, "Pets and kids, they should go together."
Family on 06/18/2014