Commentary: Memories 'Shimmer' With News Of Friend

"When I talk about pictures in my mind I am talking, quite specifically, about images that shimmer around the edges."

-- Joan Didion

The phone rang in my office and the voice on the other end got right down to business: "Hey, Sey, it's Bob Holmes, how would you like to go watch the Razorbacks play in Charlotte?"

The year was 1994 and that March the Hogs had been burning through the NCAA basketball tournament. They had made the Final Four and Bob had tickets.

After checking with my boss and family, the trip was on!

When I met Bob in 1985 here in Bentonville, he kissed me ... no, not on the mouth, but a full-on smack on my cheek, complete with substantial wet residue. He was, as we like to say in the South, a piece of work.

Originally from Fayetteville, N.C., Bob had co-founded CEI Engineering in 1979. He was also, to quote Kris Kristofferson, "a walking contradiction, partly truth and partly fiction."

That kiss was pure Bob, friendly, funny, but under that smile you could see the wheels turning.

He and I had played tennis together but we were not what I would call friends, just friendly. The plan was simple: Gary Jackson, along with his son Aaron, was flying his Beech Baron to Charlotte, Bob and I rounded out the passenger list.

I kidded Bob that I must have been his ninth choice, but truth be told, I'm sure it was probably more like 20th. He would have none of that, though, assuring me, with that sly smile, I was No. 3 at most.

The only rooms we could find at such late notice were at a Motel 6. Emblazoned on the sign was their slogan: "All Rooms $29.99." If memory serves, we paid about $120 a night, but we were happy to find it.

After watching Arkansas beat Arizona in the semi-finals that Saturday, we had Sunday all to ourselves. Bob and I had brought our tennis stuff, and that afternoon, at the city courts, we were challenged to a match by two guys wearing Duke regalia.

"Let's make this interesting," Bob said, giving me a wink. "How about we play for $50 bucks?" To my increasing discomfort, the terms were accepted.

"Just go with me," Bob whispered as we walked on the court to begin our warm-ups. Pulling out a cigarette, Bob lit it up, and proceeded to practice while puffing away.

We won the toss, and Bob began to get ready to serve, still happily smoking away. "Hey, you can't smoke while you play!" whined the one Dukie. "OK," Bob said with a grin, carefully laying his smoke just off the outside service line.

To loosely quote Shakespeare: "The game was afoot!"

After serving a perfect ace, Bob dramatically picked up his still-burning cigarette, took a few puffs that would make Bogart proud, placed it back on the ground, and played the next point. During the changeovers, Bob next pulled a beer out of the cooler he had brought and happily took a big swig.

"Want one?" he playfully asked as the Dukies stared at the spectacle. Just to demonstrate my solidarity, I dutifully opened one up myself. I believe we won 6-2, 6-2.

That April 4, we watched and cheered as the Hogs took Duke down 76-72. There is a picture of us there in the stands with the final score lit up in the background.

It is a treasured possession of a special trip.

Coming back, we resumed our lives and regular rhythms; slowly, I rarely ever saw Bob or even thought of him.

Debbie Millman wrote that "you can get the feeling of something becoming heightened in just a moment where ... it's like it's storing itself somewhere inside of me ... it's like that shimmer happens and, sometimes, it can be years before it connects to something else that then makes the story clearer, or makes clear why it shimmered."

That happened this past week when I discovered Bob had passed away on May 24.

Twenty years ago, three men and a boy shared a moment that to this day brings a smile.

We all have different memories but we are sure of one thing: It mattered.

The poet Naomi Shihab Nye wrote "Lives unlike mine, you save me." Those differences are what enrich our life experiences, which as Kristofferson concludes in his song "The Pilgrim":

"And all he ever gets is older and around

"From the rockin' of the cradle to the rollin' of the hearse

"The goin' up was worth the comin' down"

And Bob, I just remembered something important: You owe me $25 from those Dukies!

Commentary on 06/12/2014

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