Terri Bertschy and her husband Tony were married at First United Methodist Church in Bentonville almost 35 years ago, and now her daughter, Kristen Kaye, is marrying Justin Alan Cummings at the same church May 3 - just a couple of weeks before her parents’ anniversary.
With that kind of history, it was a given that the Bentonville church would be the location for the wedding.
The couple scheduled the date at the church last February, more than a year ahead. Bertschy said the church has a policy with a formal agreement, listing items such as lighting, music and janitorial fees. She noted there were diff erent aspects that applied to members and nonmembers. She was surprised at the detail of the policy.
“It was helpful to know what was expected of us,” she said.
CHANGING TIMES
How far in advance can a bride and groom book a wedding ceremony? What music can they choose? How much can photographers move around a church during the service? These questions are often answered by a church’s wedding policy.
Staff members at Central United Methodist Church in Fayetteville recently rewrote the church’s entire policy and put it in place in October. The policy had not been updated in more than 10 years, said Brian Swain, administrator at the church.
The wedding policy was created about 15 years ago, and the only previous update was changing the fees about 12 years ago. The original document was five or six pages, and it is now 24 pages long.
Swain said the staff looked at what other churches were doing and tried to take the best practices. Updating the fees was one of the changes made, he said, because Central’s were much less than what many other churches are now charging.
Previously, the fees for renting the sanctuary were $200 for members and $500 for nonmembers. The new rates are $375 for members and $1,500 for nonmembers for the sanctuary, which holds 875 people. Swain noted that “this is not something we do to make money.” It might seem like a big change, but he said he considers it pretty modest when the fees had remained the same for so long.
Swain noted that the bride, groom, their parents or grandparents have to be active members for at least a year to receive the member rate. The required length of time had previously been three to six months, but Swain said some people joined the church simply to get the member rate for the wedding and then left.
“We felt like we were used a little bit,” he said.
Swain added that the church leaders want to serve members and also be available to the community, but they “don’t want to become a wedding chapel.” He hopes that people who get married at the church have a commitment to a relationship with Christ.
The church had 10 to 12 weddings last year and has had as many as 25 a year in past years.
Fellowship Bible Church of Northwest Arkansas in Rogers also updated its policy in October with minor price adjustments. The document mostly has stayed the same since it was created, which was at least seven years ago, said Dwight Mix, connections pastor at the church. Feeswere raised a few years ago to pay more to the wedding coordinators. The fee for the lodge, training center chapel or student center east increased from $425 to $475, Mix said. The fee for the worship center, which seats up to 1,200 people, is $800.
The church holds 10 to 15 weddings each year, he said.
To marry at this church, the couple have to be members or attend services.
“Our purpose is not to be a wedding chapel for Northwest Arkansas but mainly to serve our members and provide a facility for them,” Mix said.
It’s been seven or eight years since Rolling Hills Baptist Church in Fayetteville made a signifi cant change to its policy, allowing nonmembers to be married at the church, said Steve Sheely, the church pastor. Sheely or another minister conducts premarital counseling, the couple is introduced to the congregation, and a prayer is said for them. He noted that 10 to 15 years ago, many churches started limiting ceremonies to members only.
He believes this is because pastors and churches were tired of being wedding chapels.
To be considered a member of Rolling Hills Church, the bride, groom or their parents have to be active members for at least six months at the time the wedding is scheduled. There is no building use fee or security deposit for church members. For nonmembers, the security deposit is $200 and the fee to use the sanctuary - which holds up to 250 people - is $250. A church wedding coordinator is optional for members, but one is required for nonmembers, Sheely said.
The fee for the wedding coordinator is $250. This church typically conducts between two and fi ve weddings each year, he said.
THE DETAILS
Each of these churches varies in its policy on scheduling weddings. Central United Methodist members can schedule a wedding three months to a year in advance, and nonmembers can schedule three to nine months in advance. Sheely noted that a wedding date can be booked at Rolling Hills Baptist Church at any time, no minimum or maximum time before the date. For Fellowship Bible Church, Mix said there is a 60-day minimum of advance scheduling for weddings, and most people typically schedule three to six months in advance. A wedding canbe booked as far in advance as the couple would like, he added.
A new item in the Central United Methodist wedding policy is a checklist for the couple. Some of these include meeting with the wedding services coordinator to determine available dates for the wedding, planning the ceremony music, attending premarital counseling sessions and getting a marriage license within the month before the wedding and delivering it to the church for the pastor. The checklist also lists other items to consider, such as selecting and buying wedding rings, obtaining a guest book and sending thank you notes for wedding gifts. The wedding party now has “something to check off and make sure we’re doing everything we need to do,” Swain said.
The policy also added information for photographers, videographers and fl orists.
“There was no written policy for photographers and videographers and fl orists before,” Swain said.
This policy features do’s and don’ts, such as fl ash photography is not permitted during the ceremony, but pictures by a designated photographer may be taken from the back of the sanctuary as the bride enters and as the bride and groom exit during the recessional.
Rolling Hills and Fellowship Bible also list in their policies that flash photography is not permitted during the ceremony. Nonfl ash pictures can be taken from the back of the room or sanctuary.
The Central United Methodist policy also lists suggested music options for the ceremony, which was put together by the director of music ministries. Certain ones are noted as suggested choices for the bridesmaids, parents, bride’s processional or recessional. The church does not allow pre-recorded music. The church’s organist or pianist might be available and people can also bring in other musicians, Swain said.
There is a required meeting with the director of music ministries to run through the music requests and selections, and if the couple wants to suggest songs thatare not listed, these have to be cleared with the director, he added.
Swain said he believes the biggest change in the Central United Methodist policy is the formation of a wedding guild. These are volunteers who will be present on the night of the rehearsal and the wedding day to assist the wedding party in making sure everything goes smoothly.
A wedding guild member is provided for the ceremony because not everyone can afford a paid consultant. The wedding guild member will meet with the wedding party at least six weeks out to go through details and then guide the wedding through the wedding day. Swain said they noticed over the years that it is a hindrance at times to not have somebody in charge.
“We felt like having somebody on site to assist the party in that way would be helpful,” he said.
Fellowship Bible Church provides a wedding coordinator as part of the overall cost for the ceremony, Mix said. The coordinator works closely with the party prior to the wedding and will be present on the wedding day.
All three of these churches require premarital counseling. Rolling Hills Baptist Church usually has four sessions while Central United Methodist mandates fi ve to six sessions. Fellowship Bible Church requires six to eight sessions.
Fellowship Bible Church also lists various reasons a couple cannot marry at the church. Some of these include if a couple is currently living together, involved in an ongoing sexual relationship, not willing to complete premarital counseling or there has been a previous marriage and divorce, where there were no biblical grounds for divorce.
An example of this is if the person wanting to remarry was unfaithful in the previous marriage, Mix said.
Swain said Central United Methodist Church has not yet received feedback from its policy changes. Swain hopes that over time they will hear from wedding party members what parts were helpful and what items weren’t as helpful.
Religion, Pages 6 on 01/11/2014