When the Rev. Paul McLain felt the call to ordained ministry a little over 10 years ago his rector urged him to begin meeting with a spiritual director to discern what God was calling him to do. McLain, now canon and sub-dean at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral in Little Rock, adopted the practice and has continued to meet with a spiritual director ever since.
McLain said spiritual direction isn’t the same as counseling or therapy. It’s more of a helping relationship, with the spiritual director helping the directee gain a deeper relationship with God.
“It’s not just for people considering ordained ministry, but for all of us,” McLain said. “It’s a powerful way for a person to share where God is moving and really have someone to just talk to about that.”
Spiritual direction has deep roots in Christianity, with monks, nuns and priests offering spiritual guidance to one another. Over time the practice expanded to members of the laity. In recent years the interest in spiritual direction has increased, so much so, that membership in Spiritual Directors International has jumped from 400 when the organization started in 1990 to more than 6,000 today.
Liz Budd Ellmann, executive director of the group, said one reason for the jump in interest can be attributed to aging baby boomers.
“They are reaching a time in life when many ask really important questions. ‘Who am I? What is God calling me to become? Why am I here on earth?’” Ellmann said.
Younger people are also seeking a purpose in life, she said, something beyond their careers. Another group seeking spiritual direction is those who consider themselves spiritual but not religious. Even those with no religious affiliation sometimes meet with a spiritual director to explore questions of faith.
“They are finding a spiritual director to talk about those bigger questions,” she said.
Ellmann said Spiritual Directors International’s mission is to support spiritual seekers and connect them with a spiritual director. The group started as a Christian organization but soon Jewish rabbis also expressed interest in attending training programs. Through the years, the group has become a multifaith organization with members in 50 countries. The organization includes members of the clergy as well as lay people who feel called to spiritual direction as a ministry of their own.
SPIRITUAL FRIENDS
Ellmann said a better title might be spiritual companion, rather than director, which makes it sound as if the director’s role is to tell the directee what to do. God is the real director in the relationship, she said.
“Some people think it’s a replacement for therapy or a replacement for church or belonging to a spiritual community,” Ellmann said. “People in the pews are asking questions about their spirituality, which is a complement to the church. It’s not meant to replace the church. We are giving people the opportunity to ask spiritual questions and lean into this rich spiritual tradition.”
Ellmann said one misconception is that spiritual direction is only for the most pious.
“It really is for everyone,” she said. “The regular person in the grocery line who’s asking important questions like what’s most meaningful for me in my life, that’s the person that would benefit from meeting with a spiritual director.”
McLain has met with four spiritual directors over the past 10 years, each from a different background. One was an Episcopal monk and another was a Quaker. He also met with a Presbyterian minister and now meets with a Catholic priest. McLain found the experiences so helpful that while he was teaching a class at Trinity Episcopal Cathedral to adults considering joining the church he suggested that they find a spiritual director to meet with as they explored their faith.
“I said if you can’t find one come see me and one person took me up on it,” McLain said. “I began meeting with her once a month and told her I’m not formally trained but she was comfortable with me. A few others approached me and I decided I needed to pursue training.”
McLain is training through a program offered by Perkins School of Theology at Southern Methodist University in Dallas. The seminary offers a certificate in spiritual direction at the Dallas campus, as well as through a cooperative program at Mount Eagle Retreat Center near Clinton, where McLain is participating.
Ruben Habito, coordinator of spiritual formation at Perkins, said the two-year program has been around for about six years and he has seen an increase in interest over the years.
While there is increasing interest and more spiritual directors are being trained, Habito said most churches aren’t hiring full-time spiritual directors. So, those completing the program often serve as spiritual directors on a part-time basis or integrate that role into their full-time jobs in ministry.
“Churches with regular staffing don’t yet have that kind of room for spiritual directors, as such, except some individual churches,” Habito said. “That’s something we need to convey to church administrators, that their local churches need to consider this.” DEEPENING FAITH
As for McLain, he meets regularly with a few directees once a month in addition to his duties at the church.
“Prayer is a big part of the sessions,” he said. “We often will use something from the Book of Common Prayer and I’ll get them to talk about where they’ve seen God moving in their life. I try to do more listening than talking.”
McLain said a typical session lasts about an hour.
“We often talk about prayer practices and what practices are meaningful to them,” he said. “Some want to speak out their prayers but some love journaling. There are others who pray through art or through photography or other means like that. We find ways that connect them to God and part of that is acknowledging there’s not one right way to pray.”
Linda Brown has been meeting with McLain on a monthly basis for about three years. She said the meetings have offered her support on her spiritual journey.
“I think the older you get the more you admit we are, all of us, on a spiritual journey,” she said. “A spiritual director will walk with you. We all have best friends we can talk to but rarely do we talk to them about what we’re feeling spiritually or with our faith. … Paul has a gift for it. He listens intently and I can talk through several things I’m questioning and when I talk to Paul he has an insight I never had grasped.”
Brown said the sessions have deepened her spiritual life and she’s learning to stop long enough to listen to God.
“It has made me very mindful,” she said. “I know I’m a different person now.There’s no question it has enhanced my spiritually. I feel like I have a totally different relationship with God.”
McLain said he has found that people seek a spiritual director because they are looking for something beyond worship services on Sunday.
“Worship is wonderful but they are seeking how can God really [affect] my life day by day,” he said. “A lot of folks just need someone to listen to them and it’s been wonderful for me to get to know parishioners on a much more intimate level through these relationships. It’s hard to do that in a few seconds’ encounter at the church door on Sunday.”
McLain also continues to meet with his own spiritual director.
“It’s so beneficial,” he said.MEETING THE NEED
The Catholic Diocese of Little Rock began receiving so many requests from parishioners seeking spiritual directors a few years ago that it couldn’t meet the demand. To meet the need, the diocese formed the School of Spiritual Direction and the first group of students began classes this past fall, said Chuck Ashburn, the school’s director.
“People were coming and asking and we simply didn’t have enough members who were qualified,” Ashburn said.
Students will complete the three-year program in 2016. The current group of 36 includes English and Spanish speakers. They include deacons, a retired priest and several members of the laity, men and women. They meet one weekend each month throughout the program, which makes it hard for priests to participate while still leading Mass on weekends. Ashburn said priests in the diocese have the option of attending a summer program at Creighton University in Omaha, Neb., for one month for three years.
The first year of the diocese program is geared toward helping the students grow in their own spiritual lives, Ashburn said. The course includes classes in the biblical foundations of spirituality, an introduction to prayer and instruction on the spiritual exercises of St. Ignatius. Over the summer, participants will attend an eight-day silent retreat before beginning the second year of the program, where they will learn the differences between counseling and spiritual direction, the art of listening and how to develop a contemplative posture toward life.
“The important thing about spiritual direction is it helps the individual develop this contemplative attitude,” Ashburn said. “It’s a different way of looking at things that happen in your life.”
During the third year, the students participate in hands-on training. They’ll have their own directees to work with under supervision.
For now the program is only for Catholics in the diocese, but Ashburn hopes to eventually open the program up to others.
Spiritual Directors International offers suggestions for those seeking a spiritual director on its website - sdiworld.org. Ellmann suggests those seeking a spiritual director meet with at least three potential directors before deciding and ask them about their training, personal prayer practices and ethical guidelines. The site includes a list of directors by location and she said seekers can also ask their church or place of worship about local spiritual directors.
Ellmann said most people continue to see a spiritual director for years.
“It becomes a contemplative practice of meeting regularly to describe what your relationship with God is about now,” she said. “So it is an accountability. I know when I’m going to meet with mine I pay a little more attention to my prayer life and that’s a good thing.”
Habito said the ultimate goal is for the directee to learn to listen to God.
“You have to learn discernment of the spirit,” he said. “Where in my life is God calling me, especially when I see a fork in the road. Which is the way I’m truly called to take by God, not the one I want to take because of my own desires. The goal is to be able to fulfill God’s will in my life.”
Religion, Pages 12 on 02/22/2014