Married With Cold Feet

HUSBAND GIVES THE (EASY, INEXPENSIVE) GIFT OF WARMTH

When you’ve been married for a while, gifts aren’t as big a deal as they once were. There have been several times in our 15-year marriage when, instead of rushing around to find an anniversary or Valentine’s Day gift, Tom and I just say, “Hey, want to skip the presents this year and just go out to eat and see a movie?” As long as both people are fine with that low-maintenance approach to gift giving, things work out just fine.

But there are other times when someone gives you such a perfect gift, you know they must truly know and love you. A few months ago, for our anniversary, Tom gave me just such a gift. It’s not sparkly — although I certainly have no aversion to diamonds whatsoever. It’s not expensive — although I certainly appreciate a high-quality gift now and then. And it’s not even pretty. But that hasn’t stopped it from becoming one of my favorite gifts in the history of time.

What is this mystery gift that has me gushing all over it in print? It’s a simple little thing called “Comfy Toes.” It’s made by Sunbeam, and even though the Sunbeam people aren’t paying me a nickel to say this, I must tell you about it in case you’re like me, and you desperately need one.

Before Tom gave me this present, I didn’t even know I needed or wanted one. All I (and he) knew was this: At the end of my legs are the most frigid feet that have ever walked the earth. Based on their average temperature, I’m pretty sure only a few blood cells circulate through my feet on any given day. Particularly in the winter, my feet are roughly the same temperature as the iceberg that sank the Titanic.

As problems go, having cold feet is not a big one. But it is diffcult to fall asleep at night when all you can think about is how cold your feet are. I used to sneak them over to Tom’s side of the bed and put them on his legs to warm them up a bit. He’d flinch when he felt those icy toes against his legs, but most of the time he’d let me steal a little body heat because that’s just the kind of guy he is — plus I gave birth to his three children and he owes me.

The easy answer to this problem would be to wear warm socks to bed. But I’ve tried that a number of times and it just feels — wrong. No other way to describe it. Feet should be free at night.

So when Tom gave me this product called Comfy Toes (which costs under $30), I understood right away why he thought of me when he spotted it. It’s like a much smaller version of an electric blanket. You put it underneath the mattress cover on your bed, and when you turn it on low, medium or high, it heats the foot of the bed but leaves the rest of the bed a nice cool room temperature.

Now I crawl into bed at night looking forward to slipping my feet into that envelope of cozy warmth waiting at the bottom of the bed. Tom no longer has to contend with the Grim Reaper’s feet brushing up against him at night. And best of all, I drift off to sleep much more quickly.

And every time I revel in the simple pleasure of having toasty tootsies, I congratulate him again on finding the most perfect gift in all the world for a girl with the coldest feet — to which he says, “What can I say? Diamonds may be a girl’s best friend, but they won’t keep her warm at night.”

GWEN ROCKWOOD IS A SYNDICATED FREELANCE COLUMNIST (WITH OBVIOUS CIRCULATION PROBLEMS.) FIND HER BOOK ON AMAZON.

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