Compassion In ‘Well, Bless Your Heart !’

Growing up Southern means some phrases are forever emblazoned on your brain.

Certainly the empathetic smoothness of, “Well, bless your heart,” goes a long way to let us know our pains are not invisible and our hurts are recognized as valid.

During this Valentine month, my thoughts have turned toward what empathy and compassion mean in our society, and whether apathy, denial and self-centeredness are more prevalent nowadays than in the past. And, naturally, I have also wondered how these opposite behaviors aft ect our physical environment.

Fayetteville was recognized this month as a compassionate city, largely due to the work of the Fayetteville Forward Inclusion Group. Acceptance of diverse ethnicities, backgrounds and lifestyles under a community umbrella does indicate a type of compassion as well as respect and appreciation not found in all towns, many having been established more on sameness than dift erences.

Hand in hand with compassion comes empathy, the caring feeling of what it actually means to be in someone else’s shoes.

Local and regional magazines and newspapers are filled monthly with pictures of hundreds of participants at fundraisers ranging from formal balls to golf tournaments. There are organizations or city eft orts to feed the hungry, protect theabused, aid the homeless, rescue stray animals, assist those who are ill, help the elderly, advocate for children’s needs, monitor teens in trouble, fund research for disease cures, provide mobility to those without transportation, feed pets of low-income families, endow educational scholarships, promote peace, teach tolerance, train young parents, celebrate diversity, coach kids’ sports, furnish coats in the winter and fans in the summer, donate utility subsidies, and hold the hands of those grieving or dying. This short list shows a level of community involvement that is, to my way of thinking, a huge part of what creates a superior place to live.

However, recognition of need and giving a hand up can be an enabling action in the opinion of some, who suspect there are those who play the system, get free handouts and do no work for what they receive. Such aid destroys incentive, they believe, and they work to cut governmental goods and services, believing this strengthens the work ethic and stift ens backbones.

They may be right about a certain percentage of those receiving help, but I can’t see how children, the elderly, the ill, the abandoned, the abused, and the hungry really have the time or energy to figure out how to scam others. Just chalkthat up to my bleeding heart liberalism, I suppose.

Those of us involved with environmental issues also get a close look at human behaviors of apathy, decimation, abuse and denial when it comes to protecting and preserving a livable, healthy planet.

However, sometimes in spite of great obstacles, people manage to preserve historic structures and set aside natural areas. They protect watersheds, plant trees, propagate community gardens, clean up trashed streams and roadsides, and push for protective laws for all kinds of earthly fundamentals.

Unfortunately, environmental progress is rarely easy. All too often people find they must protest dangerous resource extractions and wildlife killings, stand and sit in the way of destructive actions on land and at sea, climb into trees, chain themselves to bulldozers, and hang banners to draw attention to issues. For doing these non-violent things, sometimes they are rewarded with success, but activists have also been spit upon, beaten, verbally assaulted, jailed and even killed for their eftorts. I’ve known environmentalists who’ve had their homes burned,been sued, lost their jobs and been threatened just for speaking up to power.

So, there is no doubt that empathy and action for the planet, and the wondrous life upon it, is not for sissies. The deepening tragedy is that destruction of life-sustaining systems for any reason makes no sense at all because it is suicidal.

So, what’s the matter here? Is this just the age-old specter of power and greed at work, or are we actually losing something within ourselves that provides the empathy and the fire-in-the-belly that we must have to continue as a species? Have we passedthe population capacity and resource extraction tipping points of planetary survival to become like the symbolic snake eating its own tail? Has the saturation of the environment with man-made chemicals changed us, as it has some animals, not only physically, but psychologically as well?

What will we do when it is empathy that goes extinct, and no one’s left who cares to bless our hearts?

FRAN ALEXANDER IS A FAYETTEVILLE RESIDENT WITH A LONGSTANDING INTEREST IN THE ENVIRONMENT AND AN OPINION ON ALMOST ANYTHING ELSE.