The original version of this column was published in 2007. Unfortunately, the message is even more relevant today.
I recognize my tendency to write repeatedly about the deeply human tendencies that seem the most significant to me. It's human nature to do so for most of us who express opinions for a living. Among my primary observations is the nature of human appreciation, or rather the glaring lack of it today.
Not long ago, I sat in an audience of 200 and listened to a frail person from another country talk of being repeatedly imprisoned simply for personal beliefs, fed filth-infested biscuits and dirty water once a day. She was not allowed a shred of reading material. Yet this person was able to maintain sanity by varying and segmenting her thoughts and prayers while rejoicing silently with gratitude over every possible thing she could fathom.
Instances where the human spirit shines brightest, where a person feels the most alive, often occur in the most dire conditions.
Very often, simple existence itself has to be reduced to its most primitive possibilities in order to experience genuine gratitude for anything, even a simple breath of air.
I clearly recall the earliest weeks of boot camp, where every privilege from soap to a radio or a soft drink had to be earned, and therefore appreciated. Not even the smallest thing was allowed. I think that experience helped each of us to understand how the value of anything becomes evident only when it is earned.
There's been far too much free distribution of everything today, especially with the generation that has been led to believe that iPods, unlimited cell phones, expensive clothes and high-dollar meals are a personal privilege of simply existing.
I believe the absolute worst thing parents do for their offspring today is to pave every road, level every obstacle and set their children's expectations so unrealistically that nothing is appreciated.
When the vital self-respect each human animal can gain by earning what he and she acquires is stolen by others bent on erasing all challenges by giving away what rightfully should be earned, it's all but inevitable that the recipient of all that lavishing becomes weaker and unappreciative.
The irony is that by handing out what should be earned, the giver is actually crippling the one he believes he's helping. An air of expectancy quickly takes root and spreads as ingratitude. Few things are more unattractive than a spoiled and unappreciative person.
If you feed a starving person a sandwich, most likely he will be appreciative. Feed him one every day for three months and appreciation vanishes since he's come to expect the handout. He may even become angry with you.
It is only through gaining appreciation for everything, from the air we breathe to the food we eat and the work we have to provide us with a sense of purpose, that we can gain empathy and compassion for others, as well as mental and spiritual maturity. At least, this has been my observation.
I once heard my point expressed this way: "You can never fully appreciate the job you have until you don't have one."
Truth is, we've set expectations unrealistically high in so many things that virtually everything around us is taken for granted.
I recently saw a cartoon depicting a mother with her child standing before a masterful painting in an art gallery. The caption read: "No honey, it's called art. It doesn't have sound." It reminded me that too often we miss the opportunity to admire and appreciate even the simple beauty and grace spread before us because we expect something grander.
Strikes me that we don't even appreciate each other anymore, not like we once valued close friendships and family. Remember family reunions? I do. Every third year or so, the Masterson clan would gather by the score for a weekend of sharing family stories that stretched late into each evening. But that required time, energy and attention. It had to be a priority in all our lives.
In too many instances, relationships have been replaced by solitary pursuits geared toward the electronic substitutes for friendships and family supplied by iPods, cell phones, computers and the enormous flat-screen TV.
None of these diversions inspires appreciation. Consequently, people become desperate for genuine acknowledgment of and gratitude for their efforts. But for that to happen, others have to care enough to pay attention, right?
That reminds me of another cartoon, this one featured a man standing in his new office, staring at his phone. His secretary is telling him, "If you push this button, someone will come in and tell you what a great job you're doing."
The cartoon would be a lot funnier if the underlying point about diminishing appreciation wasn't so true, wouldn't it?
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Mike Masterson's column appears regularly in the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. Email him at [email protected].
Editorial on 12/28/2014