Soo! Nami: The pitch -
Earthquakes disrupt the happy life on a pig farm in Arkansas. An innocent piglet topples into a crack in the ground. The farmer blames fracking. Quicker than he can sue the frackers, a tornado strikes.
The whirling wind carries all the farm’s other piglets into the clouds. The adorable little oinkers are engulfed in poisoned air - the consequence of global warming. They mutate into monsters of terrible tusk and razor-sharp spine.
Released from the storm, these horrible hogs pelt the landscape. The rain of terror extends from Eureka Springs to Little Rock, and Fort Smith to Helena. With an oink-oink here and an oink-oink there, they crash into such landmarks as the state Capitol, the Clinton Presidential Center and the dog race track in West Memphis.
Only one man can stop the chaos: Duke Durston, part-time professor of hog mutation at the University of Arkansas at Fayetteville. But can his secret genetic engineering reversal ray gun be perfected in time to save the state from the attack of the monster pigs?
Before he can try, Duke has demons of his own to conquer. His colleagues ridicule him, and the rampaging pigs break up his wedding to the beautiful Monica De-Range. The bride high-kicks and karate-chops two dozen of the porcine monstrosities to nothing but bacon, but the horde overcomes her. They steal her away.
And just when it seems like nothing worse could happen: The most awful threat of all emerges from the fiery earth. The first little piggy is back from the devil’s own Smokey Joe, still smoking.
This fire-red pig is the size of Pinnacle Mountain, and he is returned to lead the others in a full-out assault on Planet Earth in revenge for mankind’s invention of barbecue.
Duke must rescue his bride, save the earth and stop the pigs before they go too far in their roasted rumpus.
Style, Pages 56 on 09/29/2013