Devil pigs in the sky?

Sharks falling out of the blue on top of people with chain saws. What next?

The rating success of this summer’s made-for-TV movie, Sharknado, led quick-as-a-chomp to the SyFy channel’s announcement of a sequel for next summer, Sharknado 2: The Second One. It prompted The Hollywood Reporter’s story headlined, “Hollywood’s Booming Shark Movie Economy.”

Also, the trend inspired today’s page that shows how Arkansas could beat Hollywood’s worst idea of a ridiculous disaster:

Anything sharks can do, pigs can do better.

Here’s just the idea for a movie to prove it: Soo! Nami, about devil pigs in the sky. The poster on this page shows how the film might be made for real. Why not?

Arkansas has a history of strange creatures, after all (the White River Monster); and monster movies (1972’s The Legend of Boggy Creek).

The state has two horror movie showcases: the Hot Springs International Horror Film Festival, which ends today; and the Little Rock Horror Picture Show, March 20-23.

New technology makes it more and more possible to create movies outside of Hollywood - maybe even Arkansas’ answer to Sharknado.

This pitch went out to a number of experts on horror movies, movies in general and movie-making in Arkansas, asking what it would take for Soo! Nami to reach the screen. Could it be made instate? Where would it show? Who wants to see it?

Soo! Nami is sure to be the greatest motion picture ever made in Arkansas, they said - in a pig’s eye: PRE-PRODUCTION

CHRISTOPHER CRANE, Arkansas film commissioner.

Question: How much would it cost to make Soo! Nami right here in Arkansas?

Crane: There’s no way I could tell you. You could do it with an iPhone, or you could spend 50 million dollars. It’s like the old question, how long is a piece of string? … I will say the subject matter is probably saleable.

Q: Would you encourage this production in the state?

Crane: We love to encourage production.

Q: Even devil pigs?

Crane: We like to make sure a film will be a good calling card for Arkansas. Would this be?

FINANCING

BOB PEST, president, Ozark Foothills Fest, April 2-6 in Batesville. In 2011, the festival awarded three grants of $30,000 each to Arkansas filmmakers through the governor’s Arkansas Cultural Regional Arts Grant program.

Question: How about a grant for Soo! Nami?

Pest: Shark movies might be kind of a thing, but - pigs in the sky?

Q: How could money be any better spent?

Pest: The governor hasn’t said anything about any more money.

Q: But suppose he did, then would you?

Pest: If you could show me a story good enough to make a film, I certainly would consider it. But just to say let’s make a movie about pigs, this is not something anybody is going to want to invest in.

DIRECTION

ERIC ENGLAND, a Russellville native, Los Angeles Film School graduate, director of horror and suspense films Madison County, Roadside and his latest, Contracted.

Question: What are the chances of Soo! Nami actually being made?

England: You can get anything made, really. It depends on the budget and the determination. If you have a film that’s going to cost a ton of money, you need to find that money before you can make it. But if you lower the budget, you can just make it yourself, which opens the door for almost anything. It may not be as good of a film with less money, but that’s part of the balance of filmmaking.

Q: Could it be made in Arkansas?

England: Absolutely. In fact, I don’t know where you’d shoot a movie about flying pigs but Arkansas.

Q: And then, once made, it’s a sure sell, right?

England: From a business standpoint, I think it’d be a tough sell because movies like that are very specific. There’s a possibility it would sell really well and be a hit like Sharknado, but those don’t happen every day.

Q: Would you agree to direct Soo! Nami?

England: Maybe. If the circumstances were right … if the story was there, and I only had to write-direct or possibly just direct - I’d definitely consider it. I have a guilty-pleasure side of me that would love to do a ridiculously fun movie like this.

But more likely, it would be a film I’d rather watch than make.

CASTING

SARAH TACKETT, founder and president of the Little Rock-based acting and modeling bureau The Agency. Her movie experience includes the made-in-Arkansas features Sling Blade and Mud.

Question: So - what do you think of Soo! Nami?

Tackett: I like movies that have good messages. I’ve never thought about casting anything like this.

Q: But, say, if you were to cast it - how would you? What about the pigs?

Tackett: Think in terms of sizes and contrasts and masses. It would be important that you have a large height difference between the powerful and the powerless.

Q: And what about the pig-kicking bride?

Tackett: She’s a crazy bride. She could be a lot of different things. This kind of bride is not something we know of in our reality, so if you put her up on the big screen, she’d better be engaging.

ACTING

TAMARA GLYNN: Horror movie actress (Halloween 5, Freddy’s Nightmares), and hostess of the Hot Springs International Horror Film Festival.

Question: Even though you’ll be working on a TV series right after the festival, would you accept the role of Monica DeRange, pig-kicking bride-to-be of mutant hog scientist Duke Durston?

Glynn: Eh, I’ll accept the lead female role! … Sooie!!!

PRODUCTION, SPECIAL EFFECTS

MAREK DOJS: Assistant professor of mass communications - digital cinema at Southern Arkansas University, Magnolia.

Question: Does Southern Arkansas University have all it would take to produce Soo! Nami?

Dojs: On campus right now? - maybe not. We’re still building up. We’re a couple of years off from doing something as big as monster pigs.

Q: But it’s possible?

Dojs: With the technology out there, the only limit is imagination. We don’t have to go anywhere else for this. I tell my students all the time, you don’t have to go to Hollywood, anymore …. Let’s get some pigs flying!

Q: Say we have a terrific script, we have the technology, what else?

Dojs: We should be thinking multi-platform. We should be thinking of this movie also as a video game, we should be thinking about a website - and where’s the telephone app that goes along with this?SCREEN ONE

JUSTIN NICKELS: director of the Little Rock Horror Picture Show, a presentation of the Little Rock Film Festival.

Question: Would you promise right now to show Soo! Nami at the Little Rock Horror Picture Show?

Nickels: We’d have to see a finished product, but we would definitely be open to showing it. We try to support local filmmakers as much as we can, and that’s why it is always free to submit Arkansas-made films.

Q: Is this a movie you’d want to see?

Nickels: I always enjoy seeing films made by Arkansans, so on that note I’d love to see it. The fact that this has such a great ridiculous premise makes me want to see it even more. Just seeing a tsunami of hogs would be fun.

Q: Any advice to make it better?

Nickels: Overtaking farms and cities - that would have to happen near the end of the movie. If you did it too soon, people would tune out. That’s something Sharknado did right, they saved the actual sharknado until the last 15-20 minutes of the film.

SCREEN TWO

BILL VOLLAND: Set decorator for the TV series Silk Stalkings; co-director of the Hot Springs International Horror Film Festival.

Question: Is Soo! Nami the worst idea you’ve ever seen, or what?

Volland: Worst idea? No. Being in the film industry for over 25 years, one thing I’ve learned is there is no telling which “bad” idea will be a huge hit. Just look at the hit shows on today.

Q: Can you imagine this picture actually being made?

Volland: Yes, and I suggest you copyright it before the studios get wind of it.

Q: If Soo! Nami clears production, would you show it at the Hot Springs International Horror Movie Festival?

Volland: It’s quite an accomplishment just to make a film, so we consider every entry. It would be screened and reviewed by other filmmakers, then considered for the category in which it was entered. With so many excellent films submitted already, it would have to be a really good film to get screened this year.

Q: If it got in, would it be a headliner, maybe opening night attraction? - or slipped in some time after midnight?

Volland: If one or two of the mutant pigs could show up for the red carpet opening night, we could easily have a festival headliner.

Q: What do you look for in a movie to play big?

Volland: Mutant pigs bent on the destruction of humanity for the invention of barbecue has just made it to the top of my list.

The Hot Springs International Horror Film Festival concludes today at Central Theatre, 1008 Central Ave., Hot Springs. Guests included director Eric England and actor Tyler Mane (Halloween). For information visit hotspringshorrorfilmfestival.com or (501) 859-9148.

The Little Rock Horror Picture Show will be March 20-23 at the Arcade Theater, nearing completion as part of the new Arcade Building in downtown Little Rock’s River Market District.

A related event, “Zombies in the Garden,” will be at 7 p.m. Oct. 5 at Dunbar Garden, Little Rock, with a showing of Night of the Living Dead.

Also, the Little Rock Horror Picture Show is sponsoring a Halloween-costumed Day of the Dead party at 8 p.m. Nov. 2 on the 17th floor of the Bank of America, downtown Little Rock.

More information is available at littlerockfilmfestival.org or by calling (501) 205-0400.

The Ozark Foothills Film Fest will be April 2-6 in Batesville. The festival’s 2014 Screenwriters Competition is open to entries through Dec. 1. More information is available at ozarkfoothillsfilmfest.org, or by calling (870) 251-1189.

Soo! Nami will not appear at any of these events. But watch the sky.