Dear Otus,
All of us here at the Eagle Rock Cafe in Mount Judea (and note we pronounce it Mount Judy) are growing more concerned about the huge alpaca farm off County Road 41 on the hilltop across the way. We figure all that alpaca waste is (as effluvia tends to do) flowing downhill to Big Creek and then into the Buffalo.
I know the place has a permit, but what’s the need for all those alpaca anyway?
- Darryl Vicuna Mount Judea Dear Darryl,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and a further pleasure to reassure you that alpaca waste is actually good for the environment.
You are correct. Seainaych Alpaca Farms has an Arkansas concentrated animal feeding operation (CAFO) permit. The license allows Seainaych to house 6,500 free-range huacaya alpaca: 1,500 breeding hembres (females), 1,300 machos (males), and up to 3,700 cria (baby/juvenile alpaca under 12 months of age).
Alpaca are very hygienic (except when spitting). They use a communal dunghill that the farm freeze-dries and sells for high-end houseplant fertilizer. The location of the farm above the subterranean geology of the Boone Formation in Newton County has been determined not to be a threat from karstified limestone runoff up-gradient from the Buffalo National River.
Why so many alpaca? Seainaych has the government contract to supply alpaca to the National Weather Service for its ongoing program to have a mated forecasting pair at every NWS station across the country. So far, 28 percent of the offices have been supplied, including the NWS station on Remount Road at the Chelsea Victoria Clinton North Little Rock Airport.
They’re named Alphonse and Alicia.
Alpaca are in such demand for forecasting weather that many local TV stations have bought their own or are on the waiting list.
In Arkansas, the only station to already have a weather alpaca is KTHV-TV, Channel 11. The 2-year-old, 114-pound hembre, named Leigh Ann (known on the farm as No. 956), lives in the station’s Weather Garden with Joey the Garden Cat. The two have become fast friends over the past six weeks. Leigh Ann will make her on-air debut on THV This Morning at 6 a.m. Monday.
Alpaca fleece is especially good for forecasting winter weather. The NWS claims that alpaca are the new woolly worms. My guess is that it’s because alpaca (Spanish for “to the hay bale”) are native to South America, where our winter weather originates.
We can blame winter weather on El Nino, La Nina, El Chico and La Hijastra, plus assorted other weather phenomena such as El Joven, La Prima, La Suegra and La Ninera.
According to North Little Rock’s alpaca, it’s going to be a sweltering and stormy winter. We’re talking 85 degrees on Christmas. Maybe 80 on New Year’s Day.
What may seem like a welcome weather blessing at first blush could turn out to be an entomological disaster come next spring when the ticks and chiggers swarm from their hidey-holes in a plague of biblical proportions.
If there are not at least eight days at or below freezing to kill off those pests, we could be hip-deep in blood-sucking vermin by May.
According to Alejandro, the NWS’ chief prognosticating alpaca in Silver Spring, Md., the winter of 2013-2014 will be “the most significant El Nino event since the calamity of 1982-1983.”
As many recall, that El Nino caused El Invierno de Nuestro Descontento, when the trade winds in the western Pacific led to a depression of the thermocline in the east.
Simply put, the 17-degree isotherm dropped to about 150 meters’ depth, reducing the efficacy of upwelling to cool the surface and cut off the supply of nutrient-rich thermocline water to the euphotic zone.
Not only is the Southern Oscillation Index (SOI) at a50-year low, but the alpaca fleece is wispy and standing on end this fall (see photo). The thicker the wool on an alpaca, the more frigid the winter will be.
The low SOI, first noted by Ecuadorian alpaca ranchers last summer, means we won’t have to wait until Christmas for the warmer weather to have an effect. Go to noaa.gov for the daily update.
In addition to alpaca and woolly worms, the NWS monitors molting chickens and notes how many nuts the squirrels are burying. It measures the thickness of the nutshells and the height of hornets’ nests above the ground.
The weather service also checks for rough skins on onions and measures the fat on skunks (that one’s tricky). It also takes into account the height and thickness of spider webs and measures how deep ants are burrowing.
Until next time, Kalaka says the alpaca have spoken; take precautions.
Disclaimer Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat’s award-winning column of humorous fabrication appears every Saturday. Email:
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