Guest writer

Arghs and crafts

Simple, cheap DIY? Ay-yi-yi!

I saw a really neat Halloween wreath at a craft fair. Anybody with half-sense and a little bit of imagination could make one like it-and save themselves a bit of money.

A crafty woman was displaying her handmade wreaths. The reason I say she was “displaying” instead of selling them is because I think most of her admirers were examining her wreaths with the intention of copying her ideas.

Why, even I could make a wreath like that!

Since I have always planned to be crafty someday, this seemed to be the perfect time. After all, the lady wanted $15 for her wreath.

I figured it could be made for around $7. It was just a straw wreath from a dollar store, a couple of used light bulbs, two empty drink cans, four pipe cleaners and a big, black paper bow.

When light bulbs become big hairy-legged spiders and the drink cans become haunting ghosts, together they will make the perfect wreath for my grandchildren’s front door come Halloween, I thought.

Turning the drink cans into ghosts was easy.

I just bent them in the middle and spray-painted them white. With a little imagination, the hole made when you pull the tab off looks exactly like a ghost’s mouth. A couple of drops of black paint, strategically placed, and you have the eyes of a haunt!

Even if you don’t have any burned out light bulbs, new ones don’t cost much. I sprayed a couple of bulbs with black paint. When dry, on the smaller end I applied dabs of white paint which became facial features of a big, scary spider.

The pipe cleaners, also black, I would attach to the underside of the light bulb to make big hairy legs. You can get big, long, fuzzy black pipe cleaners at almost any craft store. Since we didn’t have a local craft store, I got mine at the florist.

Assembly? Well, now that’s something else. You must have, and use, one of those hot-glue guns. Since Ihad one in the closet that the kids gave me last Christmas, this seemed the perfect time to try it out.

My goal was to glue the spider legs to the bottom of the light bulbs.

That’s when I found out just how hot a hot-glue gun can get!

I dropped the light bulb. But being quick, I caught it bare-handed before it hit the floor.

It quickly stuck to my hand. Just as quickly, I started peeling the glue off with my other hand.

Then I realized it wasn’t glue, but skin, that I was peeling off.

I ran cold water over my hand immediately and covered it with baking soda, as my mother always said to do for a burn, and began to rummage through the cabinet trying to find something more powerful. The only relief was a bowl of ice water.

I called my husband, who made a mad dash to the drugstore for burn medicine and delivered it pronto. But my hand continued to hurt unbearably.

In desperation I called the doctor’s

office.

“Come on in,” were the words this crafty woman sourly sought.

But no-the first doctor said, “I can see you at 2:30.”

The second doctor said the magic words, and I was off and running. Diagnosis: second-degree burn.

The doctor had medicine, a bandage, a prescription for miracle salve, a tetanus shot, and a fair amount of sympathy.

Yes, I finished the wreath. And yes, grandchildren were impressed.

Total cost of my crafty Halloween wreath: $64!

And that’s not counting a new box of adhesive bandages and gauze, but I know crafty folks like me should have stuff like that on hand at all times.

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Freelance writer Patsy Pipkin is the author of three collections of her columns and lives in Searcy.

Editorial, Pages 17 on 10/19/2013

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