Alateen Helps Teens Cope With Loved Ones’ Addictions

BENTONVILLE — The two 13-year-old girls have secrets they keep from their friends and classmates.

The two girls have parents and other relatives who are coping with alcohol and drug abuse. It’s an issue the two girls want to keep away from friends and classmates because they fear they’ll be teased.

At A Glance

About Alateen

Alateen is part of Alanon and helps people affected by someone’s else’s drinking or drug abuse. Alateen meets at 5:3o p.m. Monday at First United Methodist Church in Bentonville. For more information on Alanon and Alateen, call 479-899-5322 or visit www.nwarkaa.org/ or www.ar.al-anon.alateen.org

Source: Staff Report

The girls, however, have a place where they can share their problems and issues at weekly Alateen meetings. The teens’ real names aren’t being used in this report.

“Lisa” has attended Alateen meetings for the last three years. At one point, she was the only child who attended the meetings. It was just her and sponsors.

Lisa’s father, mother and sister have been involved with alcohol and drugs. Her mother and sister are in recovery. Her father still drinks alcohol, she said.

Alateen is a place where she can share her feelings without worry of being laughed at, Lisa said.

As more children started to come to the meetings, Lisa began to understand there were others dealing with the same problems as her.

“The only people that really know about the addictions are my parents and friends at Alateen,” Lisa said.

Lisa was hesitant to come to the meetings at first, but her mother pushed the issue and she’s now grateful she attends the meetings. “It makes me relax and not so intense,” Lisa said.

Lisa said she’s had to learn to cope with her loved ones’ addictions to alcohol, pain pills and methamphetamine.

“You have to grow up faster than other kids do,” Lisa said. “It’s good to share with other kids who know first-hand what I’m going through.”

“Kate” understands Lisa’s feelings. Her father and stepfather are alcoholics, she said.

A counselor told Kate’s mother about Alanon and she wanted Kate to attend Alateen meetings.

“I was having a tough time dealing with things,” Kate said.

Her stepfather once started drinking and then hit her, she said. He blamed her for his problems, Kate said.

“I’ve learned that I can’t force them to stop drinking,” Kate said. “They have to want to quit and get help.”

Kate said she’s learned more about her feelings in the last month. “I’ve learned how to control my anger and I now understand that I can’t change them,” she said.

Kate feels Alateen is a safe place for her to talk. “We all have the same problems,” she said.

Kate said she didn’t have to worry about being teased or taunted over any tears she may shed at the meetings.

Julie Hop is an adult sponsor for Alateen. She understands what the teens in Alateen are going through because she grew up in a home of alcoholics.

“I like to see kids deal with it better than I did did,” she said. “I became an addict. My way was to go to the dark side.”

Theresa Thompson, another adult sponsor, goes weekly to the Benton County Juvenile Detention Center to hold Alateen meetings. She said Alateen provides teens with the tools that can give them the skills to cope and deal with their problems.

“If I can change one life then every Sunday I go there is worth it,” Thompson said.

Helen Shuptrine, state coordinator for Alateen, said the organization has 15 to 20 children who participate in two classes in Bentonville. One class called Alatots is for children age 4 to 9. The other class —Alateen — is for children 10 to 18, Shuptrine said.

There also are Alateen groups in Springdale and Harrison, Shuptrine said.

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