Other soccer parents loudly criticize your son’s game. Should you go to the coach?
Normally, less is more when it comes to parental involvement from the sidelines.
“Staying out of children’s sports and play is usually the best rule to follow,” says psychologist Anthony Rao, author of The Way of Boys: Promoting the Social and Emotional Development of Young Boys (William Morrow). “There’s so little left for them that we don’t manage or influence or push our agenda on.”
But “normally” goes out the window when yahoos are criticizing your child.
“A kids’ soccer game is not meant to be a spectator sport for adults,” Rao says. “It’s not supposed to be a place where we yell or vent our frustrations or get entertained. So I see this as a boundary violation. These are parents who don’t know their place, and it’s really unacceptable behavior.”
“When things flip from good-natured rivalry to aggression, the whole point of why you’ve assembled the kids is gone,” Rao says.
By all means alert the coach, Rao says. The coach should remind the parents to keep their comments civil and encouraging.
Meanwhile, you may need to do some damage control at home, provided your son hears the comments.
“Parents are the people who have to tell the truth about the world for their kids, so … it’s OK to explain it as, ‘There are some people, like Sam’s dad, who yell a lot, and it doesn’t feel good, does it? I heard it, too, and I didn’t like it,’” Rao says. “A lot of people, even authority figures, don’t behave very well. It’s OK to start talking about that and not feel obligated to explain it away.”
Family, Pages 37 on 05/08/2013