JULY CALENDAR

Summer reigns

Welllll, doggies. It’s time for a pageant, Pops, peaches and Python.

July is the month of skyrockets and pinwheels, those dog days when panting pooches hide under the porch, while people in Johnson County name their dogs Peaches.

1 National Hot Dog Month, National Horseradish Month, Women’s Motorcycle Month. A bun on the run, a burn in the tum, a rummm-pum-pumpum.

SEND IN THE CONES Creative Ice Cream Flavors Day comes in flavors nobody ever tried before: Horseradish Ripple. Brocco li-Chocolate-Almond. Buffalo Chicken With Dripping Sauce.

WATCH THE SKIES FOR OOKY GUYS 2 World UFO Day, and how to tell an unidentified flying object from a bird: If it lays an egg, it’s a bird.

If it lays an alien egg, it’s a UFO.

If the cat scares it away, it’s a bird - or a victory for Earth.

HOT CHIHUAHUA!

3 Dog Days through Aug. 11. The hottest days of the year are why dogs invented the world’s first air conditioner - the wagging tail.

RED, WHITE AND KER-BLOOEY Spa Blast with Lee Greenwood and fireworks, 5:30 p.m. at Oaklawn Park, Hot Springs. Details at oaklawn.com. Call (501) 623-4411.

BOOM TOWN!

4 Independence Day.

Money talks, But freedom sings;

Opportunity knocks, But freedom rings.

Arkansas Democrat-Gazette Pops on the River with singing contest, Happy Tymes Jazz Band, the Arkansas Symphony Orchestra and fireworks. Gates open at 5:30 p.m. at First Security Amphitheatre, Little Rock; fireworks at 9:30 p.m. Details at arkansasonline.

com/pops/. Call (501) 918-4539.

WHOOSH UPON A STAR 5 Fireworks Extravaganza, 9:30 p.m. at Sandy Beach, Heber Springs. Details at heber-springs.

com. Call (501) 362-2444.

BIG TOP Circus man P.T. Barnum’s birthday, 1810.

TEENY TOP Debut of the bikini swimsuit, 1946.

COAL JUSTICE 6 National Grilling Month. No longer is today’s adventurous griller restrained to steaks, chicken,fish, hamburgers, hot dogs, corn on the cob, squash, mushroom and potatoes. New recipes call for grilled oysters, watermelon, peaches, pizza and Brussels sprouts (that people won’t eat, anyway). And one last thing to throw on the grill: microwave frozen dinner. Serve with grilled microwave oven.

TRUNK SHOW 7 Artist Linda Palmer’s Arkansas Champion Trees exhibit, colored pencil drawing’s of the state’s largest trees through Aug.

24 at the Museum of Contemporary Art, Hot Springs. Details at museumofcontemporaryart.org.

Call (501) 609-9966.

THERE’S AN APP FOR THAT?

8 Nude Recreation Week; Cell Phone Courtesy Month. Courtesy prohibits asking how a nudist carries a cell phone.

FLEUR FLIES 9 Fleur Delicious Weekend of French food, wine and entertainment, through July 14 at various locations, Eureka Springs.

Details at fleurdeliciousweekend.

com. Call (479) 253-6807.

“We shall make beautiful musicks togetzzer.” - Pepe Le Pew FOR CRYING OUT LOUD International Town Criers Day.

Alzheimer’s Arkansas Advocate of the Year event honors Executive Director Phyllis Watkins, 6:30 p.m. at Temple B’nai Israel, Little Rock. Details at alzark.org.

Call (501) 224-0021.

10 Wyoming admissions day, 1890. Wyoming admits the state’s entire population is Dick Cheney, but still denies that Casper is a ghost town.

KING’S ROW 11 Royal Players musical The King and I through July 12 and July 19-21 and 26-28 at the Royal Theatre, Benton. Details attheroyalplayers.com. Call (501) 315-5483.

COS’ AND EFFECT 12 Coming-to-the-University-of-Central-Arkansas-in-September Bill Cosby’s 79th birthday.

“Like everyone else who makes the mistake of getting older, I begin each day with coffee and obituaries.” - Bill Cosby HOT SUMMER KNIGHTS Monty Python’s Spamalot through July 14, July 19-21 and 26-28 at the Weekend Theater, Little Rock. Details at weekendtheater.

org. Call (501) 374-3761.

CRAWL SPACE 13 Inspect an Insect Weekend of bug-related programs through July 14 at Pinnacle Mountain State Park near Little Rock.

Details at arkansasstateparks.com.

Call (501) 868-5806.

BEEPS FOR JEEPSVintage military vehicle show, 9 a.m.-3 p.m. at the MacArthur Museum of Arkansas Military History, Little Rock. Details at arkmilitaryheritage.com. Call (501) 376-4602.

Tribute to John Denver with Jim Curry, 6 p.m. at Old Town Dinner Theatre, Pine Bluff. Call (870) 535-2646.

ROCK ’EM, SOCK ’EM ATA (American Taekwondo Association) World Ceremony, 7 p.m.

at Verizon Arena, North Little Rock.

Details at verizonarena.com. Call (800) 745-3000.

OUI WILL OUI WILL ROCK YOU 14 Start of the French Revolution, 1789. The monarchy falls like a souffle. Souffles fall like guillotines. Marie Antoinette is forced to serve cake, instead.

Peasants demand the right of all Frenchmen ever since: eight weeks of vacation.

HOT ROCKS 15 The birthstone for July is the: (A) Egg-frying sidewalk cement; (B) Foot-blistering beachsand; or (C) Red-hot ruby.

Answer at July 20.

CUMULUS INCREDULOUS 16 Arkansas receives a pelting of burned-out skyrockets that stuck in the clouds on July 4. Clouds never move in July, so it took almost two weeks for the rockets to come down.

IFS, ANDS AND STRUTS 17 Miss Arkansas Pageant through July 20 at Hot Springs Convention Center, Hot Springs. Details at missarkansas.

org. Call (501) 321-3506.

BIRTHDAY BOY BLOWS AWAY THE CANDLES18 George “Machine Gun Kelly” Barnes’ birthday, 1895.

OUTSIDE CHANCE 19 National Recreation and Parks Month

DOES THE NAME RUBY RING A BELL?

20 Take-it-for granite quiz answer: (C) Ruby. And the hottest ruby of all is the 4-pound $2 million Liberty Bell Ruby, stolen from a jewelry store in Delaware in 2011. Still missing, the world’s largest mined ruby could be anywhere - reason to have a look under the sofa cushions.

WAMPOO WAHOO Wampoo Roadeo Bike Ride,

7 a.m. from All Souls Church in

Scott to England, Keo, Lonoke and

back. Call (501) 590-9525.

PAPA GOTTA ENCHILADA 21 One-time Arkansas resident Ernest Hemingway’s birthday, 1899, and three books about Arkansas that he almost wrote: The Tuition Also Rises A Farewell to Martha Shoffner A Movable Feast: The Story of Food Truck Friday IN THE SWING 22 Hammock Day, not to be confused with Ham Mock

Day, a day to loaf around like a

ham loaf and make fun of sand

wich meat.

There once was a crook on the

lam For having made off with a ham;

When caught, he repented;

The crime, he lamented, But still, he wound up in the

slam - For running a ham-handed

scam.

ALWAYS A THRILL ON BLUEBERRY HILL 23 National Blueberries Month.

OUTDOOR WHAT-FOR 24 Summerland Tour with Everclear, Live, Filter,

Sponge and Old Crow Medicine Show, 6 p.m. at Arkansas Music Pavilion, Fayetteville. Details atamptickets.com. Call (479) 443-5600.

WINDOW OF OPPORTUNITY

National Drive-Through Day, and how to confuse people at drive-through restaurants, banks and pharmacies: Walk through.

Bicycle through. Ride a horse through. Go piggyback, and don’t stop. It’s time to take back the drive-through window for people who just want to look in windows.

PEACHY PROSPECTS 25 Johnson County Peach Festival, peaches, cobbler, jam and jelly through July 28, Clarksville. Details at jocopeachfestival.8m.com. Call (479) 754-9152.

DE VINE TIME 26 Altus Grape Festival and grape-stomping through July 27, Altus. Details at altusgrapefest.com. Call (479) 518-1963.

RUB-A-DUB-GLUB 27 World Championship Cardboard Boat Race, sand-sculpting and watermelon-eating contests at Sandy Beach, Heber Springs. Details at heber-springs.com. Call (501) 362-2444.

YUP

National Day of the Cowboy, and three parcels o’ wisdom for today’scowpoke:

Always drink upstream from the oil spill.

Never squat with your low-riders on.

Never run when you could walk, never stand when you could sit, and never talk when you could text.

DOUBLE DRIBBLE28Smart Irrigation Month.

NEWS SCOOP IS THE KIND THAT DOESN’T MELT29 National Ice Cream Month, and three reasons why the younger you are, the more fun it is to eat ice cream:

You get to stir your bowl of vanilla ice cream and chocolate syrup around and around-roundround, and make chocolate soup.

You drink this soup right out of the bowl, and wind up with chocolate on your nose.

And the dog licks your nose.

THE DAY WHEN CALORIES DON’T COUNT 30 Cheesecake Day “I never kept up with the fashions.” - cheesecake queen Bettie Page 31 Harry Potter writer J.K.

Rowling’s 48th birthday, also known as Harry Potter and the Fast Slide from 48 to the Big Five-Oh.

Coming next month: August!

Call (501) 399-3633, write to Ron Wolfe, Arkansas Democrat-Gazette, 121 E. Capitol Ave., Little Rock, Ark. 72203, or e-mail

[email protected] by July 15 to suggest August calendar entries or how to celebrate August as Get Ready for Kindergarten Month, such as: Be a connoisseur in choosing which color of crayon to eat. Red brings out the subtle flavor of school paste, and white pairs nicely with Play-Doh. Each event requires a phone number that is answered during business hours or by an answering machine that identifies the event or its sponsor.

Style, Pages 27 on 06/25/2013

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