Dear Otus,

We retired to Arkansas from Sorel, Quebec, last fall and all we’ve heard about from our neighbors is your horrible summer humidity pods. It was pretty hot this week. Have the humidity pods arrived? It wasn’t all that bad.

• Karin Street, Hot Springs Village

Dear Karin,

It was wholly a pleasure to hear from you and welcome to the Natural State - Bienvenue au pays de la nature!

You are strongly advised to listen to your neighbors. Hot Springs Village is the home of the Todd Tongen Memorial chapter of the Arkansas Association of Humidity Pod Chasers and Spotters (AAHPCS), founded in 1987.

Modern satellite technology is a scientific marvel, but when it comes to pods, you can’t beat good old-fashioned “eyes on the sky.”

Every year about this time the intrepid members of AAHPCS fan out to cover southern Arkansas in shifts. They are the last line of defense against the annual onslaught of humidity pods.

Their motto is “Be prepared or be slimed.” They have it emblazoned in Latin on Razorback red T-shirts, ball caps and ponchos: Non calor sed umor est.

Agreed, it’s a silly motto, but we still owe a debt of gratitude to these dedicated citizens, mostly retirees, who spend countless hours scanning the skies to give Arkansans precious hours of warning before the annual summer humidity pods slam home.

Outsiders (usually former residents from the far north) scoff and ask in this age of high-tech weather satellites and Doppler radar, what’s the point in a gaggle of ossified Arkie AARPers sitting with binoculars in the shade in folding chairs?

Contrary to widespread popular opinion, humidity pod prediction is an inexact science. Meteorologists, with their computer-based projections, have been notoriously inaccurate when it comes to the elusive humidity pods.

Many are still complaining about June 8, 2011, when overzealous KATV anchormen breathlessly interrupted the entire Wednesday night prime-time lineup with reports of humidity pods approaching. Ned, Barry and Todd successfully prevented viewers from watching double episodes of The Middle and Modern Family. Yes, they were reruns, but I hadn’t seen them.

The upshot: The pods didn’t arrive until June 14 that year. This year’s arrival looks to be around next Thursday or so.

What, exactly, are humidity pods?

According to NASA’s Hydrology and Climate Center in Huntsville, Ala., humidity pods are composed of a highly viscous, gelatinous-like substance that congeals in late spring over the Gulf of Mexico, usually around the Yucatan Channel and in the Gulf of Tampico.

The center monitors the activity using color-enhanced and infrared interactive global weather satellite images. The primary tools are the Geostationary Operational Environmental Satellite designated GOES-12, and Advanced Very High Resolution Radiometer (AVHRR) imagery.

The potentially dangerous pods can coagulate quickly, often in huge, trailer-size globules. They can sit dormant for days, even weeks or, depending on the jet stream, race northward with alarming speed.

“All that scientific mumbo jumbo ain’t worth a bucket of warm spit,” says Jackson Sturges of Lewisville. “I’ve seen a mini-pod the size of a Studebaker goo a small child to a swing set. She never saw it coming and neither did NASA.”

Children and the elderly are especially vulnerable to pod swarms.

Sturges, 71, is the president of the greater Lewisville/ Stamps chapter of the AAHPCS, nicknamed “The Podophiles.” He has been an inveterate podder since he retired as an engineer from Murphy Oil in 1996.

“I’d rather have a good pair of trained eyeballs looking for pods than all that fancy hardware floating around in space,” he said.

Don’t let Sturges’ rustic demeanor confuse you. The man is a legend in podder circles and has a doctorate from Caltech. It was Sturges who formulated the modern pod theory of condensation and dispersion.

Sturges is nobody’s fool. He also does a mean impression of Larry the Cable Guy.

Arkansas owes Sturges and his fellow pod spotters a great deal. No telling how many sticky situations have been avoided by their efforts.

And just who are these unsung heroes?

There are 327 active members of AAHPCS, and an additional 184 in the women’s junior auxiliary. In addition to The Podophiles chapter, there are The Pod Busters in El Dorado; The Pod Eye-a-Trists in Crossett; The Poddles in Pine Bluff; the Podagogues in Helena; and The Podiatrics in Hot Springs Village.

Collectively they form an extensive early warning network that stretches across the southern half of Arkansas. They have our undying appreciation.

Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that a pod spotted is a pod avoided.

Disclaimer Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat’s award-winning column of humorous fabrication appears every Saturday. E-mail:

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HomeStyle, Pages 34 on 06/15/2013