Battling Emotional Struggles

Iam not in a good place. Have you ever heard someone say those words? Maybe you have said them yourself.

I know I have - recently even.

“I am not in a good place” has become a common euphemism we use to express some overwhelming negative feelings.

Sometimes we say it to describe times of emotional struggles.

We use it to speak of our discouragement or depression. It’s like saying, “I’m feeling blue.” It’s a nontechnical and nonthreatening way of communicating we are hurting and we might need some help.

We also can customize this phrase to describe how some aspects of our lives have gone sour. “My wife and I are not in a good place” means we are having some marriage diff culties “I’m not in a good place at work” says it might be time to look for a new job. “I’m not in a good place with God” is a synonym for the dark nights of the soul we all eventually experience.

No matter what has caused it or what aspect of our lives we are describing, we use this euphemism as confession. It’s shorthand for “I am not OK.

Something is wrong. And I don’t think I can fi x it.”

As they say, confession can be good for the soul.

If you’re like me, you probably don’t say “I am not in a good place” until after you have carried your particular burden around on your own for a while.

We make every attempt to solve our problems - to no avail. We finally get to the point that all we can do is admit the truth about where we fi nd ourselves.

And it can feel like we’ve just turned the release value to relievethe pressure.

We say “I am not in a good place” metaphorically.

The place we are describing is an emotional or spiritual state, not a physical location. I find it interesting that, throughout the biblical story - but especially in the book of Genesis, people connected their emotional and spiritual states to their physical locations.

Their maps were also maps of their souls.

Take the story of Hagar as an example. She was an Egyptian slavegirl who was taken into the household of the Israelite patriarch Abram, who later became known as Abraham. Hagar worked as the personal servant for Abram’s wife, Sarai.

When Abram and Sarai couldn’t get pregnant, Sarai suggests to Abram he father a child with Hagar. Sarai expects Hagar could be a surrogate for her and she’ll be able to raise a family for Abram through her servant.

But, not surprisingly, it doesn’t go well.

Hagar gets pregnant, and Sarai gets jealous. She begins to mistreat and abuse her servant. When Hagar can’t take any more, she flees in desperation from Abram, Sarai and the whole camp.

Fittingly, Hagar ends up in a desert. She has been used and abused. No one gave her a choice in this whole scheme. No one cares what she needs or wants. She is alone and upset. She is notin a good a place.

And it is there that God meets her.

As the Genesis story goes, the angel of the Lord appears to Hagar. The angel of the Lord sees her, listens to her, understands her and comforts her. The angel tells Hagar, if she returns to Abram and has the son she is carrying, God will watch out for her son, too. He will be blessed and will become the father of a great people.

Hagar takes great encouragement from these words, and she goes back. But before she leaves, she says this place where she was is the place where God has seen her. In fact, the name of the location where their encounter happened gets changed. From then on, it’s known as Beer Lahai Roi, which means “well of the Living One who sees me.”

I am hopeful a story like Hagar’s helps us all admit when we are not in a good place. Maybe through that confession and in the midst of our pain, wemight have an experience with God in which we come to realize God sees us, listens to us, understands us and comforts us.

And when we do, maybe we can change the name of where we are from “not in a good place” to “a place where I encountered God.” ROBB RYERSE IS THE PASTOR OF VINTAGE FELLOWSHIP IN FAYETTEVILLE AND THE AUTHOR OF “FUNDAMORPHOSIS: HOW I LEFT FUNDAMENTALISM BUT DIDN’T LOSE MY FAITH.”