Twas three weeks before Christmas and all through the house
Decorating was starting by my lovely spouse.
The stockings were hung and I’d put up the tree
But we’d only begun as you’ll very soon see.
Now I’ve always believed that a little goes far
Just a few decorations and, well, there you are!
So I made myself scarce ’til my wife cried, “Enough!”
And I climbed to the attic to bring down the stuff .
And what to mywondering eyes should appear
But 52 boxes of packed Christmas gear!
Yes, 52 boxes I pulled from the attic
Sure proof that my wife is a Christmas fanatic!
There were boxes of garland and boxes of bows
There were boxes of candles, what else, heaven knows!
There were boxes of wrapping and labels that stick
And 32 figures of good old Saint Nick.
More rapid than eagles sheopened each carton
And then each room of our house she was dartin’.
In bookshelves, on tables, on every fl at space
On doorknobs, in windows, not missing one place.
I assure you, good people, that I’m not a Scrooge
It’s not Christmas that’s bad, it’s this decor deluge.
A Christmas tree, yes, and a wreath on the door
Four stockings for hanging, but not too much more.
I’m telling you, friends, that I’m not being snobby
Just don’t want my house to look like Hobby Lobby.
And then in a twinkling, I heard from below
My darling bride’s voice, “Get your butt down here, Stowe!”
For far from her ending her Christmas onslaught
She wanted to show me more things that she’d bought.
Then she sprang to her car and backed down the drive
She opened her window, her face all alive.
And I heard her exclaim as she drove out of sight,
“Decorations are 50 percent off tonight!”
Well, Merry Christmas to all, I can’t say it enough
Though surrounded by this green and red plastic stuff .
So these days will bejoyful, though there’s one thing I fear
In the attic, those 62 boxes next year!
JIM STOWE
Fayetteville
Opinion, Pages 11 on 12/08/2013