DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: Is it OK to disinherit a child? For more than 10 years, my daughter “Jenny” has refused to have any contact with me and won’t tell me why. Under the circumstances, I’m thinking of taking her out of my will and leaving everything to my other child, with whom I have a great relationship. What do you think?
- Krista
DEAR KRISTA: We think Jenny may be in for a shock when she sees your will.
But to answer your question: There is nothing wrong with taking into account how your daughter has treated you when you prepare your will. And there is nothing wrong with disinheriting her if that’s what you feel her behavior warrants. You do not owe her an inheritance.
Still, disinheriting a child is a big step. Fortunately, though, it’s not an irreversible one. If you decide to take Jenny out of your will and your relationship with her later improves, there’s nothing to stop you from reinstating her as an heir.
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: Two months ago, my wife and I made arrangements with friends to see a play together. They bought the tickets, which cost $45 each, and our plan was to pay them when we met at the theater. Unfortunately, a few days before the show, which was last weekend, my wife and I realized we couldn’t go. (To be honest, we’d forgotten all about it and invited house guests for the weekend.) So I asked our friends if they’d try to find someone else to buy our tickets, and they said OK. However, when we spoke to them later, our friends said they’d been unable to sell our tickets and wound up giving them to their neighbors. What’s more, they made it clear that they expect us to pay them for the tickets they gave away. Can this be right? It certainly wasn’t our idea for them to give $90 worth of tickets to people we’ve never even met.
- Doug
DEAR DOUG: Remind us never to make plans to go to the theater with you.
Why? First, months went by and you never reimbursed your friends for the tickets they’d bought for you. Second, you canceled at the last minute. Third, you saddled these folks with the job of finding a buyer for your tickets. And fourth, you’re now complaining because they failed to sell them.
Come on, Doug. The problem here is all of your making: You and your wife double-booked. So if it was that important to you to sell the tickets, you should have done so yourself.
DEAR JEANNE & LEONARD: Five years ago, my brother “Jim” and I bought eight acres of lakefront property for $125,000 as an investment. Now he wants to buy my half of the land, and has offered me $80,000 for it. But I’ve looked at comparable properties, and I believe my share is worth at least $300,000. When I offered to sell to him for that amount, Jim got mad. What should I do? Jim says he doesn’t want to speak to me until I’m ready to accept his $80,000 offer.
- Jeff
DEAR JEFF: Has Jim always been such a drama queen?
Unless you want to sell your interest in the property, let your brother pout for as long as he wants. But if you do want to sell, wait until Jim simmers down a bit, then propose that the two of you hire a real estate appraiser to evaluate your property, someone you and your brother trust and respect. While the appraisal is unlikely to please both of you, at least you’ll be negotiating from a more productive starting point: What a neutral professional says the land is worth.
Jeanne Fleming and Leonard Schwarz are the authors of Isn’t It Their Turn to Pick Up the Check? Dealing With All of the Trickiest Money Problems Between Family and Friends (Free Press, 2008). Email them at [email protected]
Family, Pages 35 on 08/28/2013