Is our Reese going to pieces?
America’s sweetheart Reese Witherspoon, who stars in Mud - the recently released movie filmed in Arkansas - has muddied her name a bit.
On April 19, the actress found herself in a Sweet Alabama slammer - OK, fine, so it was the Atlanta city jail - charged with disorderly conduct.
The 37-year-old, who is filming a movie titled The Good Libation, I mean The Good Lie, was handcuffed on Atlanta’s Peachtree (as in the kind of schnapps) Road. She got the trip to jail for interfering with the arrest of her husband, James Toth, on a drunken driving charge.
Trooper First Class J. Pyland wrote in his report: “Mrs. Witherspoon began to hang out the window and say that she did not believe that I was a real police officer.”
And then he got “real” blunt: “I told Mrs. Witherspoon to sit on her butt and be quiet.”
Instead, she got out of the Ford Fusion and got herself handcuffed.
“Mrs. Witherspoon was resistant but I was able to put handcuffs on her without incident,” because her husband Sloshed, er, I mean Toth (the breathalyzer test reportedly registered 0.139 - above the legal limit of 0.08) calmed her.
Well, somewhat.
“Do you know my name?” Pyland wrote that Witherspoon asked him, adding, “I answered, ‘No, I don’t need to know your name.’”
She replied, “You’re about to find out who I am.”
It seems we’ve all found out who Reese is. She’s another imperfect, prideful human being who made a mortifying mistake, like all of us have, although perhaps not so publicly.
She had the humility to admit it via this statement: “Out of respect for the ongoing legal situation, I cannot comment on everything that is being reported right now. But I do want to say I clearly had one drink too many and I am deeply embarrassed about the things I said. It was definitely a scary situation and I was frightened for my husband, but that is no excuse. I was disrespectful to the officer who was just doing his job. I have nothing but respect for the police and I’m very sorry for my behavior.”
We trust that the mother of three is rightfully regretful and will keep herself out of such situations in the future.
But if she doesn’t, we have some working titles ready for sequels:
Illegally Bombed
Mud (slide)
Scotch and Water for Elephants
The Importance of Being Ernest (& Julio Gallo Wine)
Cruel Intoxications
And, lastly, our personal favorite, Can’t Walk the Line.
Spoon out an e-mail:
[email protected] Spin Cycle is a weekly smirk at pop culture and a weekly segment on Little Rock’s KURB-FM, B98.5 at 7 a.m. Thursdays. Listen live and hear podcasts at b98.com.
Style, Pages 47 on 04/28/2013