Bill Engvall better stay out of Rogers.
You know him. He’s that comedian who gained fame and fortune by telling stories of the signs he’d give for, well, stupid responses people make in a variety of situations.
He tells the story of his flight landing and hitting a deer. After the emergency evacuation, he called his wife once he was back at the terminal.
“Honey, we hit a deer with our airplane,” he tells her.
His wife’s response: “Oh my God! Were you on the ground?”
Engvall: “Nope, Santa was making one last run.
“Here’s your sign.”
We’re not sure Engvall actually everhanded out any of those signs, but if he were to visit Rogers, he’d probably want to make sure the recipients stay off the public rights of way.
The city’s planning commissioners are working on a sign ordinance to recommend to the City Council. There’s a concern that Rogers’ streets are too cluttered and perhaps too distracting to motorists, so there needs to be changes.
Fair enough. Every community needs to ensure a reasonable level of control over the placement and proliferation of signs lest they have a harmful affect on the city’s attractiveness as a place to do business or visit.
The Rogers ordinance doesn’t stop with billboards or permanent business signs. A committee and the Planning Commission in Rogers has put the practice of sign dancing at risk.
No doubt you’ve seen the practitioners of sign dancing. They’re often promoting the availability of quick pick-up pizzas, buying and selling gold and silver, some tax preparation service or a Halloween costume shop. They do this by standing on the corners of busy intersections waving or spinning signs. Some of them dress up as gorillas or some other get-up to draw attention.
Unless you’re a sourpuss, they often bring a smile to your face.
The folks involved rightly reviewed the signbearing activity and have, at last report, settled in on barring these dangers to the community from public rights of way. They’re not making them illegal. One could still use such attentiongetters from private property a few feet away as long as the property’s owner says it’s OK.
It’s for safety, we’re told, although nobody can provide data showing sign dancers have caused any accidents. Indeed, this supposed ban hasn’t been supported by facts, just feelings.
After all, what difference does it make if a sign dancer is standing in one spot or 10 feet from that spot? It’s diftcult to see the problem being addressed by this plan.
We’d call it an overreaction in pursuit of good intentions.
Bill Engvall might say, “Rogers, here’s your sign.”
Opinion, Pages 5 on 10/08/2012