PUBLIC VIEWPOINT

Announcers Muted During College Football

So I’m watching college football, groaning out loud (my wife shouted up “Are you OK?”) and writhing in pain at the over-the-top commentators.

What on earth does “dialed up” mean? I must have heard the phrase a dozen times. Saw the “keys to victory” in one game - absurdly inane.

I’m not kidding. I wrote them down: Believe in our cause. Be your best when the best is needed; score touchdowns in the red zone.

What’s with the “redzone?” Is there something magical about being inside the 20 as opposed to 15 or 25?

I learned what used to be called the end zone is now “The House.” Timeouts are not “called;” they are “burned.” I heard 15 references to “rhythm” and at least 10 “tempos,” which is kind of like a mini-rhythm, I guess.

They went on about a “very special player” but there were many of these.

Also, many underrated players but I’ve yet to hear about anyone overrated.

The running back ran for a “buck 44.” In the other game, it was a “buck 23.” I can only guess this means the player ran for 144 and 123 yards. How cool.

The commentators were constantly “amazed.” If you are amazed all the time, what word is left for something truly exceptional? Maybe it’s me. At 66, not much “amazes” me anymore.

The most common phrase from the booth was “no question about it.” That was uttered when commentator “B” agreed with the wise words of commentator “A.”

Before one game, four suits and ties stood on a mini-field and tossed a football around and joked and laughed for 10 minutes.

It was like enduring the dreadful jocular juvenility of junior high school boys.

Can they just stop laughing? If everything is funny, nothing is funny.

Will they ever run out of words?

I am watching on “mute” from now on. No question about it.

RICK BURNS

Bella Vista

Opinion, Pages 5 on 11/09/2012

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