When Robert Kelly and a couple of his comedian friends wrote a movie script, they sat around hoping something good would happen.

“We’re the funniest guys we know. Why are we waiting for something to happen?” Kelly says by phone from Chicago while waiting for transportation issues to be resolved so he could return home to hurricane-ravaged New York City.

So, he, Joe DeRosa and Bill Burr scraped together the funds to make the short film “Cheat,” which debuted at the 2011 Tribeca Film Festival. The trio later turned the premise into a book, “Cheat: A Man’s Guide to Infidelity.” Released on Oct. 9, the book provides actual tips about how to get away with cheating on a partner.

They thought about trying to write somewhat tongue-incheek, but that betrayed the original concept, Kelly says.

“We thought, ‘Do we really write this book of evil?’ We were like, ‘Let’s do it, man.’ We’re not goofy dudes. We’re funny m f**s,” he says.

For those who get offended, well, that’s just how Kelly works. But he also promises he’s done with the cheating, philandering ways of his 20s.

“I’m bald and fat, and I have a dead toenail,” he says.

And he met the love of his life. His more recent comedy material focuses on how that relationship changed him for the better.

“It’s weird. A lot of my stuff now is about how much I love being married,” he says.

Perhaps all guys start with wandering eyes, but then they meet “the girl you can spend three hours with and don’t want to stab in the neck with a pencil. You’re going to be snuggling and talking baby talk. I don’t care who you are,” he says.

In between projects such as serving as Louis C.K.’s brother on the hit FX show “Louie,” Kelly has recently resumed his standup tour. Among the dates are a series of three gigs beginning Thursday night at the UARK Bowl in Fayetteville.

Waiting for things to happen may soon become a thing of the past for Kelly. He recently finished filming a pilot for FX in which he would star.

He filmed another pilot as a prominent guest and hasagreed to take on a third, the latter for the Travel Channel.

Kelly has hopes one of those projects will be picked up, which will allow him to tour all over the country instead of the primarily East Coast-only runs he makes now.

Kelly also connects with his fans via a podcast called YKWD - short for You Know What, Dude - and via other social media tools such as Twitter and Instagram. For his podcast, he invites other comedians to chat with him.

No agenda is ever announced in advance; the comedians just swap stories.

“I never have a topic. I turn on the mic before anyone knows it. To be a comic, you need, one, to have kind of an alpha personality. Two, you have to have an opinion. And three, you have to be funny.”

He’s definitely all three.

Whats Up, Pages 19 on 11/02/2012