For the grandchildren

— With the births of my second granddaughter and first grandson, I realize more than ever how fleeting is the period of awareness that allows us to expand the essence of who we are. With that in mind, I offer some sincere notes to Keirston, Elizabeth and Trenton from their grandfather, who continually falls short of his own well intentioned messages.

There are many lessons we all must learn. We are destined to repeat life’s lessons for as long as it takes to master them. The most relevant: Always treat others as you want them to treat you. Give others as much affection and attention as you possibly can.

Never forget that to anyone else, you are not the most important person in life. They are. Everything you choose to disclose or discuss is continually being filtered through their viewpoint and how your information affects them. Others will use simple words to convince you to do what they want you to do, so make your decisions based solely on their actions.

Educate yourself until your final conscious moment.

Only make close friends with those who have values and a strong sense of right from wrong. Seek direction from those who have your best interest at heart and from the enduring and divine wisdom found in the Bible.

Genuine love is not the same as the infatuation you will feel for others as you grow. It also is not the same as “making love.” While the word is the same, the experiences are far different. Real love always gives at least as much as it takes.

Rely on prayer. It calms your soul and I’ve found it most effective when offered in selfless surrender.

You will find happiness only from within. Others cannot provide it. And it’s unfair to place the pressure to make you happy on another fallible human being with his or her own unmet needs.

Make solid choices rooted in facts. As life progresses, you invariably will become the product of the many decisions you’ll make each day. If you wouldn’t want your parents knowing, it’s likely a poor choice.

Find ways to laugh often. I mean catch-your-breath belly laughs, including at the humor you see in your own mistakes. Appreciate life for all the remarkable beauty, balance and color it offers and rejoice in those.

Try to stay balanced in all you do. It’s when we lose balance in our lives that troubles take root and grow. Avoid the extremes. You, too, will make mistakes and poor choices despite your best attempts to avoid them, because you are human. Forgive yourself. Then face and root out the inevitable problems we all have as they arise.

Worry never changes any outcome. So refuse to do it.

Never be afraid to speak for what you believe is right. Your soul is never tested by always agreeing with-and appeasing-others. History is made by those who follow their hearts and consciences.

Never be mean to animals, children or elderly people. They are worthy of your respect. The aged, like you, also once were youthful, vibrant and seemingly bulletproof.

Appreciate all you have and everything you receive from others. Remember that none of us deserve anything other than what we earn for ourselves. It’s true that we only get to keep what we’re willing to give away. You will understand that lesson in later life.

When respect and/or trust vanish from a relationship, the relationship will crumble. Take nothing for granted, especially those you cherish. Always try to keep your word to others. Your promises are the essence of all you are and everything you represent in the eyes of others.

Your actions carry either positive or negative consequences. When you know you are at fault, don’t blame others. Accept responsibility for all you say and do. A sincere apology can work wonders. Such intellectual honesty is how you gain credibility, and it’s how you preserve and polish your self-worth.

Expect to fail many times before you succeed. When you do stumble, never quit. Pick yourself up. Get back in the game. The successes will come. And you will develop vital character in the process.

Never allow other people, with their own insecurities and egos, to determine the way you perceive yourself. All that matters is how you see the person that only you know yourself to be. Self-respect and esteem are perhaps the finest gifts you can give to yourself.

Expect the unexpected and remain fluid and open to the endless opportunities your life has to offer. Packing your limited and precious conscious moments with activities and diversions (electronic or otherwise) leaves no room for others, or for your creator to guide your life. It also can keep you from making truly informed choices. Listen to the inner promptings that will guide you and follow.

Along life’s pathway, recognize that what might seem to be coincidence (or serendipity) is actually the guiding hand of the one continually opening your life’s doors and pathways. Have the eyes to see and ears to hear.

Finally, sweet girls and my little man, always be true to yourself and what you know to be the truth, regardless of what anyone else might say. Always know that this life, which feels in exuberant youth as if it will last forever, instead passes in the flash of a firefly’s tail.

Ol’ grandpa loves each of you.

The original version of this column was published in March 2007.

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Mike Masterson is opinion editor of the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette’s Northwest edition.

Editorial, Pages 20 on 06/30/2012

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