COMMENTARY

Decay Of Civilization

THERE ARE WORSE THINGS THAN HONEY BOO BOO

In a recent interview with GQ Magazine, Adam Levine, lead singer for the pop rock band Maroon 5 and a coach on the TV show “The Voice,” made the following observation: “Seriously, Honey Boo Boo is the decay of Western civilization. Just because so many people watch the show doesn’t mean it’s good. So many people witness atrocities and can’t take their eyes away from them, but that doesn’t mean they’re good. That show is literally The. Worst. Thing.”

I hate to break it to Adam, but there are several things worse, and some of it right here in Northwest Arkansas. To start with, in a recent Best of 2012 reader’s poll, a local magazine named Slim Chickens as best fried chicken! Yes, dear readers, you heard me right. In the birthplace of Tyson and all things feathered, a majority of people responding to the poll voted Slim Chickens for the award.

Now full disclosure: I enjoy the restaurant. It is a great place for fresh chicken tenders and I especially like their grilled chicken salad, but how can you be named “Best Chicken” when there is not a drumstick to be seen?

As you can see, fried chicken is very personal to me. Growing up in the South, my mother made it for Sunday lunch as far back as I can remember. Crispy, light, with just the right juicy kick, to this day I have not been able to duplicate her recipe.

That said, there are several delightful chicken restaurants in our area including AQ Chicken House, Venesian Inn and Neal’s Cafe, but for me the holy ground has to be Monte Ne Inn. What can you say about a place where you simply sit down, give your drink order, and soon plates of dazzling fresh fried chicken appear in front of you? (And that includes drumsticks!)

Now in fairness to that readers’ poll, they did get some things right. You will be pleased to know that Crystal Bridges came in first place for “Best Art Museum,” although to be honest I am not sure who finished second.

This brings me to the second worst thing that recently happened in our fair community. Last week the Benton County Election Commission announced that in an effort to modernize and speed up the voting process for the future they were going to transition back to ... paper. Yes, you heard me right: Flying in the face of a global computerized world of business and banking, Benton County is going to kick it “old school.”

While I am sure most of the commission dutifully updates their cellphones, computers and laptops on a regular basis, it seems that they draw the line on new voting machines. In a shocking announcement made on Dec. 5, it seems that their existing electronic machines “use outdated technology and are no longer being manufactured.” Wow, who would have thunk it? In a related announcement, voters will be required to bring a No. 2 lead pencil, pre-sharpened, to expedite the voting process in the future.

Victor Hugo once wrote that “I know that creation is a great wheel, which cannot move without crushing someone.” That brings me to my last sign of decay by way of the recent crushing defeat for a second high school.

It seems that some School Board members, orchestrated by Superintendent Michael Poore, have discovered the magic world for future success: engagement. Now for you readers not attuned to the current business lingo, that means to involve someone’s interest or attention. According to Superintendent Poore, six to 18 months usually does the trick.

This makes sense to me as only last Friday I was getting my hair cut at that great barbershop of communal discourse called the Bentonville Clipper. Almost everyone there agreed that if only there had been more “engagement” on the School Board’s part, they would all have voted “yes.” (OK, I made that last part up, we talked about the Cowboys game, truth be told.)

Fortunately board member Greg Lightle was there to bring some hard truth to the discussion when he told his fellow members the unpleasant realty about the voters concern: “We have been talking about this for five years or more. … It is the dollar amount.” Greg, you keep pushing that wheel forward, and by the way, while you’re at it, could you give the Election Commission a call?

Merry Christmas, everyone, and see you next year.

SEY YOUNG IS A LOCAL BUSINESSMAN, HUSBAND, FATHER AND LONGTIME RESIDENT OF BENTONVILLE.

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