ROGERS — "The Secrets To A Long Life" blared the headline on the cover of last week's Parade, which is inserted into this fine newspaper on Sundays.
I pay little attention to these things because they change all the time. First it won't hurt you, then it will kill you. But wait: it could help you, if not cure you.
Scientific knowledge is very confusing, so I often ignore it when dealing with matters of health.
But, I skimmed the article which focused on generally accepted myths as to who lives longer. The article was taken from a book, "The Longevity Project," about a study began in 1921 tracking 1,500 Americans from childhood to death. The study continues today.
The article addressed six myths of living longer. The one that stopped me cold was the one labeled "Jocks Outlive Nerds." Apparently that's not true.
Yes! I thought with a fist pump. Then I read on: "Being active in middle age is the key."
Doggone it. At least the exercise doesn't have to be intense, like running every day. I could dance or garden or walk. Apparently sitting in a chair in front of a computer isn't intense enough, however.
The other myths:
Married people live longer.
Not so, unless you are a man. As for women, dumping the old ball and chain seems to give women a new lease on life.
Taking it easy means you live longer.
"A sustained work life mattered a great deal more than even their sense of happiness."
There goes my theory about retiring early. Well, actually, my theory about retiring early went down in flames when the economy tanked in the '80s -- but I still cling to the dream.
You can worry yourself to death.
" ... The best predictor of longevity in children was conscientiousness -- being prudent, well organized and somewhat obsessive.
I ought to live to be a 1,000 if this is true. At least I consider myself conscientious, well organized and somewhat obsessive. Prudent? I'm a Leo. Prudence isn't always a priority for the lion.
More education means a longer life.
More important than advanced degrees, according to the study, is "productivity and persistence in the face of challenges."
I am nothing if not persistent.
So it stacks up pretty good for me, leaving only one question: Can I afford a nice long, comfortable life?
***
Laughter isn't mentioned in the Parade article but I saw a story on NBC Nightly News about Laughter Clubs.
That's right, a club where you meet to laugh. Apparently a lot of people believe in the need of Laughter Clubs because there are more than 6,000 in 60 countries, according to the website laughteryoga.org.
Dr. Madan Kataria espouses the value of laughter. The story caught my attention not so much because all these folks in Bangalore, India, were laughing, but because they were laughing and kind of slapping their thighs. It was a bit of a strange sight. It turns out they were involved in Laughter Yoga which combines unconditional laughter with yogic breathing, according to the website.
Generally speaking, scientists agree that laughter can reduce stress, lower blood pressure, boost the immune system, reduce pain, improve breathing and relax muscles.
There are other benefits to laughter, according to an article in Psychology Today.
"Laughter is not primarily about humor, but about social relationships," said neuroscientist Robert Provine.
Provine's findings also included:
Laughter plays a big role in mating. Men like women who laugh heartily in their presence.
Both sexes laugh a lot, but women laugh more -- 126 percent more than their male counterparts. Men are more laugh-getters.
The laughter of the female is the critical index of a healthy relationship.
Laughter in relationships declines dramatically as people age.
Like yawning, laughter is contagious; the laughter of others is irresistible.
That irresistible force seems to be a compelling element of Laughter Clubs. Members say the daily meetings makes them happy, healthy and energized, according to the website.
Live. Love. Laugh.
Those oft-repeated words look like the mantra for a long life.
Leeanna Walker is local editor of the Rogers Morning News. Follow her on Twitter at twitter.com/NWALeeanna.