COMMENTARY Public Officials Gone Wild

— If the Benton County Election Commission or the Washington County Quorum Court had been on board the Titanic, they’d have called room service for ice water.

Just when you think those two panels can’t sink any faster, they’re like those Bud Light commercials - “Here we go ...”

According to reports in whichever newspaper you steal from your neighbor’s driveway, both counties’ un-respective boards have had small-time wannabes acting like never hasbeens and, in general, just making logic shake its head in disbelief.

Reports say the Benton County Election Commission’s first meeting of 2011 lasted just under 10 minutes Wednesday.

Chairman Bill Williams called the meeting to order and made two brief statements before he adjourned the meeting with no action taken.

Williams told commissioners and the small crowd attending it is crucial the commission follow the laws and regulations governing the commission and its conduct of elections. With that in mind, Williams said, he determined Mike Sevak, the Republican Party representative on the commission, incorrectly took the oath of office and filed his paper work and was “not yet qualified as a member of the Election Commission.”

The public needs to listen to Williams. He’s an expert on being not yet qualified as a member of the Election Commission, having not yet been qualified for the Election Commission for a whilenow.

(You could throw the guy in a pit of rattlesnakes and they wouldn’t bite him out of professional courtesy.)

Williams said Bob Balfe’s term did not expire until Jan. 15 andSevak filed his papers and took the oath before Balfe’s term expired.

Williams said the commission has to guard against any sort of irregularity that could result in its actions being challenged or overturned.

Williams also said he was asking the Attorney General’s office for guidance on a number of questions.

Williams engaged in discussion after the meeting with some of the people in attendance, including County Judge Bob Clinard. Clinard questioned the sequence of events surrounding Williams declaring Sevak “not yet qualified” as a commissioner and said that should have been settled in advance of the meeting.

Clinard also said he is concerned the commission has generated a poor public image that could hamper all Benton County government.

“The perception that the commissioners don’t get along is out there,” Clinard said. “We, as residents of Benton County, we need to squash that perception.”

Well, in the commissioners’ defense, they only act like they don’t get along because they don’t like each other.

Meanwhile, not to be left out, Washington County Republican legislators criticized the county’s Democrat chief executive, County Judge Marilyn Edwards,on Wednesday, saying she plays partisan favorites when assigning committee leadership.

(Wednesday must have been Public Officials Gone Wild day.)

The Washington County Republican Women, a group affiliated with the larger county Republican Committee, invited Republican justices of the peace to speak at their monthly luncheon - which is kind of like inviting sharks to a fish fry.

Partisan politics have been rare in Washington County before last year. Most of the debate usually lies between rural and urban justices of the peace, the newspaper report said.

Of the seven county committees, five are led by Democrats.

The Jail/Law Enforcement Committee is filled entirely with Republicans. Three committees have a Republican majority.

One committee has a Democrat majority. Two committees are politically balanced.

One could argue that the entire Quorum Court may be politically balanced, but mentally imbalanced.

We should just throw them all out - the Benton County Election Commissioners and Washington County Justices of the Peace - and elect or appoint dogs.

Dogs would be great public officials. Dogs lie around all day, you can teach them to shake hands and sit, then they go outside and use the bathroom in the front yard and everybody tells them what a good job they’ve done.

“Good job” is a phrase the Washington County JPs or Benton County Election Commissioners aren’t likely to be hearing from the public for a while.

BOB CAUDLE WRITES A HUMOROUS COMMENTARY ON LOCAL, STATE AND NATIONAL ISSUES. HE IS AN EQUAL OPPORTUNITY INSULTER.

Opinion, Pages 5 on 02/26/2011

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