LITTLE ROCK — Dear Otus,
Once again, my wife and I are having our annual argument on whether the holiday is spelled Presidents’ Day, President’s Day or simply Presidents Day. I say it’s Presidents’ Day because President Nixon made it so back in the day.
My wife says I’m an idiot.
Can you help?
- Vince Vitruvian Mansfield
Dear Otus,
What is that giant statue of George Washington doing on the front lawn of the Clinton library? Are they going to re-create Mount Rushmore or something?
- Polly Dactile North Little Rock
Dear Vince and Polly,
It was wholly a pleasure to hear from both of you because, oddly, your questions are eerily related.
Vince, I’ll tackle your question first.
Although it deeply pains me, there is nothing I can do to alter your wife’s opinion that you are an idiot.
I can, however, suggest that a timely retort might be something like, “Oh, yeah?
I may be an idiot, but you married one!” That’ll shut her up. Or get you sleeping on the couch.
The answer to your other question is “none of the above.” It’s not Presidents’, President’s or Presidents Day because there is no such thing as any of them, no matter how you spell it.
As I first wrote in this space on Feb. 26, 2000, the federal holiday celebrated on the third Monday in February is “legally, officially and even morally George Washington’s Birthday (celebrated).” Washington was actually born on Feb. 22, but Americans love their three day holiday weekends.
Why, then, has “Presidents’ Day” become so widespread? Vast indolent segments of society, cowed by the advertising industry and too lethargic to think for themselves, continue to refer to the holiday as the generic and odious “ Presidents’ Day” despite an act of Congress that keeps the original name that honors our first president.
The unenlightened, misguided and obsequious blindly follow the herd like sheep.
President Richard Nixon’s “Presidents’ Day” proclamation on Feb. 21, 1971,began all this controversy. Nixon’s intent was to thwart tradition and the law and cloak himself in the mantle of respectability that history reserves for those presidents who have not disgraced the office.
Nixon’s transgression was compounded 29 years later when President Bill Clinton threw the not inconsequential power of his office behind the forces of ignorance with an official “Presidents’ Day Proclamation” in 2000.
He wrote of “the rich legacies” of Washington and Lincoln and threw in some stuff about a bridge to the 21st century, mentioned Hillary and Chelsea and “the era of unrivaled prosperity and peace during which I have had the good fortune to lead this country.”
He ended with, “Best wishes to all for a wonderful Presidents’ Day celebration.”
The ever-vigilant Restore Washington’s Day zealots came down upon Clinton like a ton of grits and within a year he was out of office. Lesson learned.
It has taken Clinton a decade to atone for his aberrant behavior, but he and the Washington birthday folks have finally come to terms.
The Clinton library has now on permanent loan a 20-foot, 3.5-ton bust of George Washington on the front lawn. A bronze plaque explains the origination of Washington’s Birthday and why there is no Presidents’ Day.
The bust, created by renowned Texas artist David Adickes, was once one of six giant busts that included Thomas Jefferson, Abraham Lincoln, Franklin D. Roosevelt, John Kennedy and George H. Bush on display at Pearland, Texas.
The others have been sent to various locations, including Presidents Park near Deadwood, S.D. The Washington arrived here last week.
The towering bust has a door in each shoulder. One door leads up to an observation portal that overlooks the new William E. “Bill” Clark Presidential Park Wetlands under construction.
The other door is to a “green” unisex pit toilet that utilizes solar power and alfalfa sprouts to turn waste into compost for the wetlands.
Until next time, Kalaka reminds you that the bust will be open for visitors beginning April 1. Admission is free.
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Fayetteville-born Otus the Head Cat’s award-winning column of humorous fabrication appears every Saturday. E-mail:
HomeStyle, Pages 34 on 02/19/2011