FORCES OF NURTURE: Bleary parents can ‘go pinata’

LITTLE ROCK — As a writer, one of the things I’ve really enjoyed about becoming a mother is the special parlance of parenthood.

It happened subtly, but by the time my firstborn was a toddler, I had adopted a new language when talking to other moms.

I recently discovered mam malingo.com, whose creators claim to “define motherhood one word and random thought at a time.”

Here are some of my favorite postings.

momsomnia n. [mother + insomnia] when a sleep-deprived mom can’t sleep despite the fact that her children are sleeping, because of either worries that said children will awaken at any moment, a desperate need for time to herself, or a sudden desire to complete random household tasks.

recallic n. [toy recall + colic] parental distress and irritability due to a toy recall. The severity of a parent’s recallic is based on an item’s monetary value and how often one’s child plays with the recalled toy.

Five S’s n. pl. five sure-fire ways to soothe an adult. Similar to the Five S’s for babies - swaddle, shush, swing, suck and side. The grown-up version of the Five S’s can help calm even the most restless and anxious individual - sitting, snacking, sipping, sex and sleeping.

This next one made me laugh out loud.

crappetizer n. [you know what + appetizer]: The inevitable event at the very start of a dining-out experience (when everyone has just received their food) when your child realizes he has to go “number two.”

Thanks to this new mommy dictionary, I now know what to call Jennifer Garner, the ridiculously beautiful and fit actress who had both her babies withindays of my kids’ births.

She is my:

doppelklumer n. [doppelganger + Heidi Klum] a movie star, rock star or supermodel who’s pregnant at the same time as you. Named for Heidi Klum because she has four kids and, therefore, has shared due dates with thousands of women.

Here are a couple I sent to my friend Heidi - the one with newborn twins.

sleep deprifusion n. [sleep deprivation + confusion] state of confusion caused by weeks, months or even years of sleeplessness that causes a person to act erratically and do foolish things such as answer the door when a telephone rings, wave hello to an inanimate object and forget to wear pants.

go pinata v. affliction thatstrikes the sleep-deprived parent of a newborn that makes the skull feel like a pinata that’s had little whacks taken out of it and a brain that’s ready to fall out. When a new mother feels like she is “going pinata,” she shouldn’t drive a car or cook with open flames.

Now, some of these words and phrases will be harder to inject into my vocabulary than others. But the reason they’re great is because they reflect the common human experience of parenthood. These are experiences that transcend demographics.

We all, for instance, havehad a “mom…ver…sation.”: The broken-up, never more than two sentences at a time, conversations that mothers try to sustain with each other while chasing kids around a playground, play date or ballet class.

Send me your suggestions for new entries into the mama lexicon.

Cindy Murphy is a reporter for the Arkansas Democrat-Gazette. She and her husband live in Little Rock with their 4-year-old daughter and 1-year-old son. Her blog, Mom on a Wire, can be accessed on LittleRockMamas.com. E-mail her at

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