COMMENTARY An SEC Conspiracy Theory

After watching officiating crews in the Southeastern Conference the past couple of years, it’s amazing the league isn’t forced to put the yard line markers on the field in Braille.

It’s like show and tell at school.

“Johnny, what does your father do for a living?”

“Oh, my Dad can’t see, hear or speak. He’s an official in the SEC.”

I’m not real big on conspiracy theories, but there seems to be a concerted effort to keep an SEC school unbeaten or with one loss to ensure the conference has a team in the BCS Championship Game.

By conspiracy, I don’t mean the refs are hiding on a grassy knoll waiting to assassinate the Arkansas team bus.

With their eyesight, it’s not like they could hit it anyway.

Also, a conspiracy requires planning and forethought.

These guys show no forethought, after-thought or present-thought.

They strike me as a bumbling bunch who have to write “TIF” on each shoe - Toes In First.

Hence, instant replay - which makes it pretty blatant that the higher-ranked team is going to get all the breaks.

Unless said higher-ranked team is Arkansas.

Arkansas spends what seems like 200 years in the old Southwest Conference gettinghosed by officials, and now this in the SEC.

Of course the old Southwest Conference was Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas, Texas … and Arkansas.

Now we get to the SEC and we’re still treated like a redheaded stepchild.

To wit, last week’s phantom touchdown by Auburn.

The ball’s knocked loose and is lying on the ground about a foot behind the running back and in the field of play when the back crosses the goal line.

Arkansas recovers the ball, returns it a ways, an official throws his beanbag to mark the spot of the ball and signals a first down, in Arkansas’ direction.

The officials huddle, then announce the call on the field was a touchdown and the play was being reviewed.

Where was the touchdown call and who called it?

Even at that, the replay shows the ball on the ground when the running back is crossing the goal line.

Yet, replay officials uphold the “ruling on the field” and award a touchdown.

The SEC releases some loadof-manure statement about this official had a better view, blah, blah, blah.

Bull.

The official looking right at the play is the one who made the fumble recovery call.

We won’t even talk about Broderick Green’s phantom fumble or revisit the Florida game last year.

The point is, why have instant replay if you’re not going to use it?

The SEC was known a few years ago as the conference where everyone was cheating in recruiting and in booster gifts.

Now, the conference risks being know as one that will cheat to get into the BCS Championship Game.

Meanwhile, Arkansas fans have taken the Auburn calls in stride.

One eye clinic in Northwest Arkansas offered free Lasik eye surgery to any SEC official.

And a church in Arkansas supposedly posted on their marquee: “Good news SEC officials: Jesus heals the blind.”

Jesus may heal the blind, but comedian Ron White hit the nail on the head: “You can’t fix stupid.” BOB CAUDLE WRITES A HUMOROUS COMMENTARY ON LOCAL, STATE AND NATIONAL ISSUES. HE IS AN EQUALOPPORTUNITY INSULTER.

Opinion, Pages 5 on 10/23/2010

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