NORTHWEST ARKANSAS — There’s one thing I like about you humans.
You’re easily amused.
My cat butler is an upright-walking example of how easily you inferior species of this planet can become tickled.
You’d think he won Publisher’s Clearinghouse when he came strutting home the other day sporting a new pair of sunglasses. So proud was my manservantthat he wore them in the house, like he’s cool or something.
What had him walking on Cloud 10 was he ransacked the bargain bin at Walgreens andgot two pair of shades for a buck fifty.
Oh happy day. He should just put a ribbon around them and we’ll forget about Christmas.
But if you lose as many pairs of sunglasses as my food-dish filler, you’d be giddy yourself.
I, Boat Dock, will wager that if you like to fish, float or otherwise tread in the great outdoors, the life expectancy of a pair of Foster Grants is measured in days, not weeks, before you lose them.
Somewhere in the universe, there’s a black hole filled withMr. Scatterbrain’s sunglasses and pocket knives. The more expensive the eyewear or the blade, the quicker he loses them.
One year for my cat butler’s birthday, his brother bought him a $50 pair of fishing glasses. That was such a waste of 50 bucks I coughed up a hair ball.
Get this. Barely a week later my cabin boy is pedaling his bicycle and stops to take a picture. He removes his $50 glasses, sets them on the ground and promptly runs over them.
What he should have gotten at Walgreens was one of thosechains that makes you look like a librarian. Maybe then he’ll stop spending the gross national product of a third-world country on sunglasses.
We cats would never lower ourselves to the two-legged level and cover our gorgeous eyes with dark glasses. When it’s sunny, we prefer sleep. That’s something we hate losing way more than sunglasses.
BOAT DOCK IS FELINE OUTDOORS SCRIBE FOR NWA MEDIA. HIS COLUMN APPEARS WHEN HE FEELS LIKE WRITING ONE.
Outdoor, Pages 6 on 07/22/2010