Letters to the editor

The art of making an apology

FAYETTEVILLE — Most of us during our lifetimes have found it necessary to apologize for some type of unacceptable behavior. We were truly sorry for what was said or done, wish it had never happened, and sincerely want to make amends. Then there are those who find that they must make an apology, not because they are sorry for their transgression, but because they are in trouble and are looking for some way to soften their punishment, such as the person facing jail time for a crime, the politician whose career is in jeopardy because of his infidelity, or the athletes whose sad behavior is likely to cost them endorsements.

Lately there have been so many apologies by public figures that you might think an epidemic is upon us. As you watch these unfold on television it is obvious that many apologies, instead of helping the wrongdoers out of a bad situation, actually make it worse. The biggest mistake is for the person to look and act insincere, even though the words themselves are acceptable. Then you have someone who does appear to be sorry, but the wording of the apology is all wrong and misses the mark. Finally, the person who blames someone else for their misconduct, and what they sayreally doesn't amount to an apology. An example being the comments of Rep. Joe Wilson the day after he apologized to President Obama for calling him a liar, which revealed his lack of remorse.

One approach to making an apology is to hire a public relations expert to write it for you, advise you on when and where to make it, and rehearse your delivery. For example, suggesting that a few tears might help convince the public that your apology is genuine. The people who specialize in this form of damage control are often referred to as spin doctors. The good ones are expensive, but it may be worth the cost it they can repair your tarnished image. If you are unwilling to pay someone to help you I suggest that you take a course that might be entitled Apologies 101. If schools do not have such in their curriculum they should. A companion course might be how to lie while keeping a straight face. Making an apology and lying aren't exactly the same, but they often are closely related.

Since the public has a short memory it may be that not apologizing and remaining silent is the best plan, to allow your outburst to become old news. If you feel compelled to say something, be quick about it, keep it short, and shutup. Gov. Mark Sanford's attempts to apologize for his infidelity is the best example of what not to do. Every time he opened his mouth to explain his indiscretions he made matters worse. If he was paying an expert to help him in damage control he should ask for his money back.
Bass Trumbo / Fayetteville

Some advice for Fayetteville voters

Because we are in need of a new high school, let the individuals in charge use a lot of common sense, and just maybe the people of Fayetteville will agree.

Construct solid, sensible buildings using the old but "tried and true" cement blocks with some dressings of nice bricks around all entrances and windows. Use all other monies to construct well built, well equipped classrooms and laboratories, where teachers and instructors would have pleasant, rewarding experiences, giving all students the very best education possible in the USA.

All the "state-of-the-art" necessities should be used inside the buildings where they will do the most possible good.
Jack Bogan / Fayetteville